Ancestors
by alexiroseni
Summary: Somehow it all worked out. The odds were against them. It was mostly illegal and highly dangerous. Too much was being asked of them. But somehow, through the tears and sweat and fire and blood, it all worked out. Because everybody dies, but not everyone lives. So Lily, James, Sirius, Marlene, Remus and Peter lived so loud, so hard, so well, that they left a legacy. art: A-A-Fresca
1. Hallowe'en 1978

_I do not own any of these characters. Props to GwenCThompson for being the best beta ever!_

I

October 31, 1978

"Prongs I can't find my tail!" Sirius hollered, wearing an assortment of shaggy black furs and a dog collar and throwing the couch cushions in all directions.

"Wormtail give me my snout!" Remus growled. He was wearing something similar to Sirius only in grey and had Peter in a headlock, preventing him from being able to reach the much smaller boy's hands and his 'snout'.

Peter, wearing simple dark brown trousers and and matching shirt, was laughing uproariously at his game of keep away. "Not until you help me with mine, Moony."

James, wearing light brown buckskin trousers and jacket, threw a black strip of furry cloth at Sirius, who caught it and crawled out from under the wing-backed chair where he had been looking. Both completely ignored Remus' and Peter's scuffle. "Here's your tail, Padfoot, help me with my antlers?"

Lily, wearing a pair of muggle jeans and a white tee shirt that hung off one shoulder and over her bum with the logo for "Blondie" sprawled across it, felt it was time she spoke up. She had been watching as chaos unfolding in the Head's common room for some time and was perplexed about the costumes.

"What the hell are the four of you doing now?" Her tone confused but laced with amusement. The Marauders all froze and looked at her standing in the doorway. They all had full face paint and snouts on, as well as the silly clothes.

James smiled broadly at her as he sat down to allow Sirius put a pair of antlers on his head, smooshing his unruly black hair. "We're going Treat-tricking, Evans! Like I learned in Muggle Studies."

Lily shook her head. "It's called Trick Or Treating. And just where are you going to go do this anyway?"

James stood too eagerly, knocking Sirius over. "Why? Do you want to come?"

Lily shook her head again, stepping over a large pile of fur like cloth to get to her room. "I have to set up for the Banquet." She opened the door to her room before asking once more. "But where you are going to be Trick Or Treating? "

Remus' face split into a rather wolfish smile and he adjusted his snout, glancing at James as if for permission to speak. "James' whole Muggle Studies class is first and second years. This a class project. James has the Gryffindor Quidditch team staying in the different classrooms with sweets. The class being all dressed up will have to find them first, then perform some spell perfectly before getting the treat. It'll be literal Trick Or Treating." With that, he gave himself a last look over and nodded in approval of his own wolf costume.

James' face was the color of Lily's hair under his paint. "Come on Mates, let's go before all the good stuff is gone."

Lily watched them leave, mentally adding this escapade to the List of James Potter Surprises and then remembered she had come to get her date book. The decorations sketches and instructions for the Hallowe'en banquet were in the red leather book, along with the rest of her life. It sat in the center of the desk that was pushed in the far corner of the room. Lily took the carefully constructed path to the desk, moving around the piles of books covering her floor. She grabbed the book and her pack of gum from the top left drawer of the desk and made her way out of the room, through the small common room she shared with James (and by association the Marauders) which was still littered with leftover furry costume pieces and left for the Great Hall. Arriving at the entrance she could hear James' escapade happening down the hall and three first years girls dressed in blue leotards with glittery wings pinned to their backs passed her running at top speed towards the sound of laughing.

"Don't crash into anyone." Lily called after them before sweeping into the Hall, smiling up at the star-scattered sky, and then turning to her team of decorators.

"Alright ladies..." When Lily immediately saw Gregory Thomas (the Hufflepuff prefect who came to EVERYTHING) among the female prefects assigned to help her, amusement and confusion warred on her face before she continued. "And gents...We don't have much time. We need to carve and charm the Jack-o-lanterns, hang the curtains, make the silhouette trees and finally make the chandelier. So who wants to do what?"

The tasks were divvied up. Lily had the silhouette forest to herself. Whipping out her wand Lily sent a small white paper airplane flying with the instructions. "Get Marlene" then got to work as well as she could.

"Lily! What was so urgent that I had to come?" Marlene swept into the Hall dressed in full costume of a black cat.

Lily knew she would have to fight for Marlene's attention tonight. "Well, this forest was your idea, you have to make it come to life."

Marlene rolled her clear blue eyes. "You could do it yourself."

"What so you can chase Padfoot around?"

The girls had fallen into calling the Marauders by their nicknames after halfway through the sixth year when they had discovered the nature of Moony's "furry little problem" and it's solution (That's a different story). Of course they were careful to not let the Marauders hear them.

Marlene sighed and pulled out her wand. "If I do this, we'll do it fast and then we get you a costume and join the fun."

Lily scrunched up her nose in distaste. "I'm Head Girl."

Marlene began constructing the forest she had dreamed up in her dominantly right brained mind. "Then show solidarity with the Head Boy. You can go as a muggle."

"Hardi-har-har." Lily also began to construct the forest using the different charms she and Marlene had already discussed. "Let's just get this done."

It took them about 45 minutes to turn the Hall into a spooky wonderland. Lily gave it her official seal of approval and everyone scattered until dinner time.

Marlene threw an arm around Lily's shoulders. "Ready to get all dressed up?"

Lily sighed, looking up at her best mate whose sanity she often doubted. "What are you thinking of exactly? Muggles normally go as witches and goblins."

Marlene adjusted her cat ears. "We're all going as animals."

Lily looked at Marlene, a head taller than herself and too thin,wearing a black leotard and black leggings, a cat nose and ears. Lily shook her head. "I'll go as my fallback outfit."

Marlene stepped back. "I knew you'd done this before."

Lily rolled her eyes and headed back towards her dorm. "I won't be a mo. Go find the action and send me a note when you do."

Marlene ran off following the sound of too-loud laughter through the halls of Hogwarts. It was only about 2 pm and there was still plenty of time before the feast for Trick Or Treating. She found 'the action' happening at the Transfiguration classroom. The Marauders, looking themselves in their animal costumes, stood in the midst of 15 first and second years trying to turn hedgehogs into teacups. Cheryl Lordling, a fourth year, the Gryffindor chaser was dressed like Professor McGonagall and stood next to the desk with a large bowl of chocolate frogs throwing one to each student who got the spell right.

Marlene shot off a small paper airplane to Lily and then joined the Marauders as they tried to help a couple of first years dressed as a unicorn and a redcap respectively to get the wrist movements correct. Once the last of the little ones had gotten the spell down "Professor McGonagall" gave them a clue to help them find the next Trick Or Treat spot and the pack ran off down the halls.

"Thanks for helping Cheryl." James smiled his brightest at her. She smiled back with obvious awe at him and James had to resist the temptation to ruffle his hair. For once antlers seemed to cramp his style.

"My pleasure Captain!" Cheryl replied. "I better go though. Potions essay to write."

James sensed she wanted him to invite her to stay and to help her with her essay later and maybe he would have a year ago. Tonight he just nodded and wished her good luck. Her face fell but then he gave her a "brotherly" hug and she left with a small smile on her face.

"She was jones for you mate." Sirius commented dryly.

James nodded. "Then I best not lead her on."

Sirius, raised his right eyebrow mockingly. "Right..."

James let out short laugh. "She's all yours but remember she's just a kid."

Sirius threw an arm around James' shoulder as they walked after the stampede of children they had promised to watch. "No thanks, I have all I need."

Sirius was smiling with satisfaction as he watched Marlene, her slender hips swinging, walk and talk animatedly with Moony and Wormy.

James snorted at his best mate. "I believe you are the kind of bloke with only one thing on his mind."

"That I am but she likes me like that."

Marlene turned around so she was walking backward. Her eyes were bright with mischief. "Like you like what?"

Sirius moved forward with elegance to sweep Marlene into a kiss. "Like a hopeless romantic."

Marlene kissed him and then punched him in the arm. "Pishaw. You are not romantic Sirius."

They had arrived at the next Trick Or Treat spot where the Gryffindor keeper, Dominic Portland was having the first years name all the headmasters of Hogwarts from Dumbledore backwards.

"Did Lily say she was coming?" James tried to inquire with nonchalance but Marlene just laughed at his feigned disinterest.

"She was vague. I don't think she's coming though."

"Oh." James forgot about the antlers and ruffled his hair, making them almost fall off and got everyone laughing.

This was the last stop and when the first and second years had gotten their sugar quills and headed to their dorms to get dressed for the feast the Marauders headed back to the Head's dorms and came thundering through the portrait hole without much warning. Lily sat reading Dracula on the couch by the fire.

Marlene jumped on the couch next to her. "Lil you didn't come."

"Don't whine MK, it doesn't suit you." Lily flipped the page without looking up.

Marlene sighed and settled deeper into the cousins. "Can I borrow one of your uniforms?"

Lily looked up over her book. "We haven't been the same size since first year. You're a twig. I'm not."

"You're thin." Marlene insisted.

"But short."

"5'4" is average."

Lily rolled her eyes. Marlene punched her in the arm. "It is. 5'9" is freakishly tall, plus I'm freakishly thin, making me a freak."

Sirius came out of the bathroom where the blokes had retreated to wiping his face paint off. He heard Marlene's comment. "I don't think so MK."

Marlene stood and took the towel from Sirius to start wiping her own face. "Thank you but you are a rare bird."

"So are you duck." Sirius pulled off his costume over his head. He still wore a black tee shirt under it but his muscles and tattoos could be seen.

"Don't call me that, Sirius." Marlene said out of habit but she was distracted checking him out. If there was anyone she could love it would be him. But love was complicated and Sirius wasn't so she chose Sirius over love. It probably didn't really make sense, but that was why Marlene rarely thought about it.

Lily had gone back to her book until James came into the room, shirtless. She felt her face grow hot and tried to focus on her book over her dorm mate.

"Prongs, do you have a uniform I can borrow?" Sirius turned to his 'brother,' side by side they looked as much. They were the same height, a head taller than Marlene, with jet black hair, only Sirius' curled and James' stood on end and of course James had glasses.

"Yep, but are you actually going to wear it?" James looked skeptic

Sirius nodded. "Last year. First time for everything."

"I dared him." Peter spoke from the bathroom doorway and was thankfully fully dressed. Peter was not an eyesore, he was a contradiction, a mix of scrawn standing just taller than Lily and baby fat that refused to leave him even at 17. He was pale in his skin, eyes and hair. What he lacked in looks came out in his jokes. James, Marlene and even Lily were laughing at his revelation.

"Snitch." Sirius glared at the smallest Marauder.

"What did I miss?" Remus came in buttoning his uniform shirt closed over his scarred but defined chest. His face was still painted.

"Woah." Lily threw Remus the wash cloth Marlene had just finished using without a second thought. "You better wash up or you may kill Nearly Headless Nick all over again."

Remus grinned a wide, toothy smile, making his face even spookier. "That bad?"

"That realistic." James stated moving to his room to get him and Sirius uniforms.

Remus removed the grey and black that drew out his wolfish features and sharpened the yellow in his caramel colored eyes until he looked "normal" again scars, wide grin and all.

"So can I borrow a uniform?" Marlene poked Lily.

Lily put in her book mark and stood. "I think I have one of yours here. Come on. And Peter, don't dog ear the book when you start reading it."

Peter, who had already picked up Lily's book just waved a hand at her before diving into the pages.

The Feast was spectacular. The food delicious. The setting prefect. The company tolerable. Lily sat by Marlene and across from Remus and Peter.

"I'm sorry if my statement earlier was careless." Lily poured them all pumpkin juice.

"Apology accepted." Remus winked at her before turning to the other Marauders who were intent planning of how to the show the Slytherin freaks that Gryffindor reigned supreme.

James was on a roll. "It has to show that it's not just Gryffindor, but Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and all free thinking wizards that think their opinions are shite."

Lily interrupted him. "It's only two months in and you are already doing this?"

"Of course." Sirius smiled at Lily from where he sat on the other side of Marlene. "This isn't something as simple as pranking or playing hooky. This has to say 'We, The Marauders, were here and there is nothing you snakes can do about it'."

"I thought this was for all free thinking witches and wizards." Marlene, who was only picking at her food, gave Sirius a scathing look.

Sirius thought for a moment and then nodded. "It is but we speak for the free minded, we always have."

That made everyone laugh.

"Well, maybe not until fifth year but now..."

Lily cut him off. "We've grown up."

This sobered everyone up and they went back to eating quietly.

That night Lily was once more reading and James was writing a letter to Arthur when it struck him once more that they had spent a whole day in each others company without really arguing.

"That's 33 days."

Lily looked up from her book and met his hazel eyes with her green ones. She knew exactly what he was referring to. "Tell me when we reach fifty."

"Will you kiss me when we get there?"

Lily just rolled her eyes. His voice didn't have the same old teasing edge. No, James Theodore Potter was a different person than he had been a year ago. Losing your parents did that to you. She would know, she'd recently lost hers too.

"Lily? Where did your head go?"

Lily hadn't realized she was still staring at him. She had been seeing her father's coffin, closed because the car crash had really busted him up supposedly. She smiled at James as his face came back into view and sighed, letting the memory slip away. "No, when I kiss you it'll be for real."

"When, not if?" James raised his eyebrows in an attempt to make her laugh away the dark memories. Laughter worked like that. He would know.

Lily did laugh at him. "In your dreams Potter."

"Every night Evans."

She stood up, slightly pink in the cheeks. "Well, I'll leave you to them. Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

A/N Hullo all. This story will cover the years from 7th year through the deaths of James and Lily. Meaning this will be drama and angst - my forte. Please Please Please let me know if you like it! More reviews = more updates because I want to write when people tell me that they like it and why.  
Singing off,  
Alex


	2. Arthur, Alice, Frank and Xeno

II

_November 4, 1978_

"Are you coming or not?" James hollered over his shoulder from the common room where he was pacing. _It's not a date. We are just walking together. Play it cool James._

"Coming!" Lily came out of her room wearing jeans and her puffy coat, pulling on her hat. He thought she still didn't look warm enough so he removed his scarf and handed it to her. Lily looked at him in confusion but she still took it.

He was dressed in slacks and a thick sweater under his deep blue pea coat and stocking cap. _He looks fine and I can think that because this isn't a date. We are just walking together because we had that meeting. _

It was a Hogsmeade weekend and there were substantial rumors that Frank and Alice were in town. Sirius had thought to ask Frank what to do for their end of the year prank as Lily still called it.

"Statement not prank." James had insisted everytime it came up.

Lily just wanted to see Alice and get news from the Auror community. _I wouldn't be so desperate for news if the Prophet actually published some._

"Come on slow coach. I'll race you." She hollered as she took off towards the village.

James loped after her, watching the sun catch her hair that stuck out of the bottom of her hat. She was running backwards now, face buried in his scarf. He smiled to himself. She was glorious and all he wanted to do was love her. Then he saw the three other wizards heading towards them and from their scarfs he knew they were trouble. He took off running to catch up with her. "Lily!"

She turned and came face to face with Avery, Mulciber and Snape. She felt her stomach plunged. _Oh shit. _ "Fellows."

"Well, what have we here?" Mulciber leered at her.

"Bugger off." James came to a stop next to her.

"Make me." Mulciber replied standing toe to toe with James. He and James were the same height but the Slytherin was skinnier.

"I would rather lick a frog." James spat out.

Lily meanwhile was having a staring contest with Sev. It was beyond awkward. His eyes seemed to prick her insides and she could feel the air thicken between them. They hadn't spoken at all this year and Lily wanted to keep it that way. Every time she saw him he looked worse, slimier and more sallow. _This is pathetic. He's pathetic. You don't need this. _

"Oi! you muckers!" Sirius' voice cut through the silence. "I think five on three is fair but you might not."

Lily never felt more joy at hearing Sirius' voice. Remus and Peter stood next to Sirius a few steps behind the Slytherins. Avery did some obvious sizing up and tapping both Mulciber and Snape silently pushed past James and Lily to head back to school. Lily flinched away as Snape brush past her. James didn't take his eyes from Mulciber's. Neither turned their backs until the Slytherins were out of sight.

James let out his breath and Lily let her lungs fill again. The air felt cleaner once they were gone.

Sirius hollered to them. "Come on. I'm freezing my tail off and I have a firewhiskey waiting for me. Arthur got your letter Prongs. He's going to take her lunch break with us."

Lily thought it was odd that James Potter and Arthur Weasley wrote each other so often but she didn't comment on it. All she wanted was something to warm the chill that invaded her from her staring contest with Sev and a hug from Alice. Which she got as soon as she entered the Three Broomsticks and one from Frank. There was no couple Lily knew who were more different in looks. Alice was short, about 5'2" and pleasantly round with apple cheeks and huge bright blue eyes. She wore her light brown hair close cropped to her head, always saying "Life is easier when you can wash it in a few seconds especially with the kinds of shit I have to wash out of it."

Frank was around 6 ft or so with the build of a beater which he had played for Gryffindor since his first year by special permission and later as captain before passing the mantle on to James when he graduated. He had rather curly blonde hair that Alice was always telling him to cut. Not that it didn't look very good hanging around his strong jaw and in his wide set brown eyes.

In personality they matched. Both smiled constantly and had a habit of making everyone laugh. Also they were head over heels for each other. They dated since fourth year (or the entire time Lily had known them) and got married two weeks after their graduation.

Everyone settled into the booth when Arthur Weasley came up with more food and drinks. He was a distinct man with bright red hair, clear blue eyes and a slim build. He worked at the Three Broomstick and Honeydukes, was a good deal older than any of them, close to 30 now and married with five kids (well his wife, Molly, was pregnant with twins). But somehow, probably through his Father, James had formed a close brotherhood with Arthur that no one, not even Sirius, completely understood.

"Mind if I join you all? I have lunch break now but if I know Molly, and I do, she won't want me around."

Frank picked up Alice and pulled her onto his lap. "Sure, there's room for you here. Sorry about Molly, Gideon was saying she kicked him and Fabian out when they tried to come to dinner on Sunday."

Arthur nodded his head with a laugh. "It's a nightmare. Although it's also wonderful...kids are truly wonderful."

Alice, Lily and even Marlene nodded in agreement. The blokes (except for Frank and James) looked a little skeptic.

"Anyway, we're not hear about my troubles. James said you were planning your big finale?"

James nodded and pulled some papers out of his pocket. "Yes and we'd like input from our predecessors. We're thinking simple but effective and within the rules." He winked at Lily who rolled her eyes. He spread out some designs and blueprints. Arthur picked up one of what looked to be an outline on making some of the halls into swamps. "Well I was not much of a prankster in my day."

Remus reached for what Arthur was trying to decipher. "We nixed this one as too complex."

Arthur nodded and set it down in favor of looking at what Frank had in his hands. "What do you think Longbottom?"

"This one could work." He shifted Alice in order to place the paper on the table top and lean forward and point out different aspects of the plan. "You'd have to see about distracting Slughorn but then once you've gotten the ingredients brewing a melting potion shouldn't be too hard."

"With Lily it'll be even easier. She's a master potioneer and Slughorn's favorite little Slug Club member." Marlene winked at Lily.

Lily flicked back her hair. "But you don't have me yet."

Everyone spoke at once proclaiming their indignation.

"Evans what are you talking about?" James' voice was cold and Lily knew she was on thin ice but she continued anyway.

"Potter, I said I'd come to this little get together, more to see Alice than anything else and I would help this all stay within the rules but nothing else."

"Lily no one is saying you have to help." Alice's voice was quiet, conciliatory even. "They don't need your help but I'm sure they wouldn't mind it."

Lily looked at Alice and nodded but her tone was bitter. "Right. Sorry."

From there Remus took over the planning. James was sullen but still contributed thinking that Lily was awful to pull shit like and Sirius were both tense thinking that their best mates were a pair of arses. Lily was silent as the grave thinking how she didn't want to be there and listen to these plans. They were able to get down the bare bones even with the silent battle of wills occurring around them.

Arthur stood. "Well, my break is over but I sure could use some company as I walk over to Honeydukes. James? Will you join me?"

James nodded. "I'll meet you blokes at Spintwitches after? I need new goggles."

Sirius, Remus and Peter nodded. Then the five of them cleared out going their separate directions.

Marlene also stood. "I have to fill some prescriptions for Madame Pomfrey at the Dogweed and Deathcap. It was good to see you both!" She hugged Alice and Frank before turning to Lily. "Catch you later Lily?"

Lily nodded. Alice slid off Frank's lap. Frank stood. "I'm going to hit the loo, sweetheart and then order us all some tea."

Both the girls nodded. After he left they didn't start talking right away. Finally Alice broke the silence. "So, how's Petunia?"

Lily sighed and played with the the end of her braid. _Leave it to Alice to dive right into a hard topic._ "We haven't really talked since the funeral back in March. She spent the summer with her fiance and I spent mine with Marlene."

Alice nodded, understanding. "You could have come visited us."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "And suffer the temper of Augusta? You know Frank's mum thinks Marlene is a neerdowell."

Alice shrugged. "She'll have to come to accept my relations sooner or later."

"Who will?" Frank set down a pot of tea and three tea cups for them.

Alice poured. "Your mum."

Frank snorted. "Fat chance. She is a particularly determined witch and is convinced that if the McKinnons are the only relations you can produce you might as well not have any relations."

Lily and Alice nodded in agreement. Before Alice was a Longbottom she had been a foster daughter of the McKinnon's. She'd shown up on their doorstep with the note "From your cousin" though neither Mr. nor Mrs. McKinnon knew which cousin that might be. So they had raised Alice alongside with their two boys, Neil and Snyder, who were just older than Alice was and Marlene who was two years younger.

Needless to say Mrs. Augusta Longbottom was proud of her family tree more out of old fashioned tendencies than purist leanings. The fact that the McKinnon bloodline was shoddy at best, downright confusing at worst and adding Alice's unknown parentage did nothing to endear Alice to Frank's mother. Not that it mattered. All kinds of relationship were developing outside the outdated and now forced lines of pure and not so pure bloods. There was Ted and Andi Tonks who had eloped, Deidre (a half blood) and Timothy Greengrass, and Nina and Walter Abbott among others.

Frank sipped his tea and looked around the inn's dining room cautiously before asking. "Has Dumbledore reissued his invitation yet?"

Lily shook her head, sighing at the memory. "Not since after the funeral."

"Have you and James talked it over?" Alice continued in a quiet tone.

"Why would we?" Lily sipped her tea. _And now she brings up Potter._ "Except that we have, talked about it, you know. I mean not outright but it's come up about reasons why we would fight in the war and how, when we're on rounds and bust Slytherins or Ravenclaws up to no good. He wants to keep waiting. I was surprised he didn't jump at the chance to fight. It's like he suddenly realized his limits. Me too."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "So you do talk."

"No we don't. At least not a lot. And only about important things. We don't chat so much as we talk. Except it's not really talking. It's more like he expresses his opinion on something and I listen and then I express my opinion and he listens to me. He is actually good at listening most of the time and his ideas are kind of smart most of the time. He says the same thing about me. So it's not talking it much more like..." Lily finally ran out of words.

"Talking." Frank was laughing at her and Lily tried to not let it miff her.

"Francis stop." Alice placed a hand on his forearm. "I get it Lily. But at least you are communicating, it would be hard to be heads without that."

"He confuses me." Lily admitted with relief. She had been holding that in since the term had started and telling Alice would help bring her thoughts and feelings into focus. It always did. "I mean I know people have to grow up someday but why do some people seem to do it overnight and then regress and then grow up all over again?"

Alice smiled. "That's just the ball rolls."

Lily threw her napkin at her. "That's a stupid answer."

Frank was checking his pocket watch. "And with that stupid answer we have to roll. Sorry kiddo, meeting at the office in an hour. No rest for the Auror."

Lily stood and hugged the two of them. "Well, it was lovely to see you. I'll talk to you soon."

"That you will and keep talking to Potter. I think you could teach him something." Alice smiled as she and Frank headed to the fireplace to floo. Lily sat down to finish her tea and then headed off to do some early christmas shopping. Her list was much smaller this year and that was more daunting than if she'd had gift list three and half feet long.

Marlene gathered the different bottles and placed them carefully in satchel. "Thanks Dominic. This should be good for the month."

Dominic, the portly chemist who ran Dogweed and Deathcap. "Make sure you tell Pomfrey about the Ministry rationing gnome's tooth."

"I will. Thanks again." Marlene wrapped Sirius' scarf tighter around her face, breathing in his smell and stepped outside. She closed her eyes and just stood in the afternoon sun. _Just keep breathing, go on breathe in. Each breath means you're alive and life means you can find a reason to keep going. _

"May I take you bag, duck?" Sirius' voice warmed her ears just as the sun did. She handed it to him without opening her eyes

_And if you can't find a reason make one up like getting him to stop calling you that. _"Don't call me that."

Sirius laughed to himself. "Alrighty then."

They stood quietly for a moment and then headed back to the school with Marlene slipping her arm through his. The sky was darkening and everyone seemed to heading back.

"Where are the others?" Marlene asked.

"Moony and Wormtail are with Prongs waiting to walk Lily back."

Marlene nodded. "And you?"

Sirius smiled down at her, mischief sparkling in his grey eyes. "You'd have had a hard time getting back without me."

Marlene rolled her eyes but was silently grateful. The bag was heavy and she was especially tired today. "I could have gotten someone else to help."

Sirius growled low in his throat. "Sure but only if they had a death wish."

"Down boy. You aren't my guard dog."

"I was over the summer." Sirius laughed at the memory of sneaking (as a dog) into the girls bathing house at the shore because he and James had been "worried" about Lily and Marlene.

"Well, Snuffles..."

"Padfoot." Sirius insisted.

"Snuffles." Marlene poked him in the side. "You don't have to be one right now."

Sirius took that as a chance to change the subject. "You looked like shit, earlier, when we were talking with Alice and Frank."

"Thanks." He could practically feel the sarcasm in her voice. "It was a bad day."

They walked awhile in silence and it began to snow again. She watched the flakes fall and caught a few on her tongue. She wanted to state her concern as fact.

"The ministry has decided rationed gnome's tooth."

Sirius glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, disbelief the dominant emotion. "That's an essential ingredient."

Marlene nodded. "I know that. I am thinking of downsizing doses on the meds and trying some of Xeno's all natural remedies."

Sirius laughed slightly. "I knew ol Xeno would get to you sooner or later."

"He told me that pixie juice might help but that its incredibly rare. I think I'll do the tortoise shell and dandelion milk smoothie. It sounds the most normal."

"Has it spread?" Sirius ran a gentle hand over her hip, brushing over the extra lumps with care. _They don't feel worse but can you even feel that from the outside when it comes to cancer? I should have read up on it like Moony suggested._

Marlene shook her head. "No. Which is good. But it will spread without the potion."

Sirius squeeze her hip gently. "Maybe Xeno's remedies will stop it."

Marlene laughed. "I am hoping it will at least numb the pain and nausea."

By now they were arriving at the school. Since most everyone was still at Hogsmeade all the Gryffindor first and second years were having a massive snowball fight in the courtyard.

"Sirius, we need you help!" Leah Johnson, a little first year, hollered. "It's boys on girls and we're losing."

_Excellent! This is just what I need. _Hollering back in his best falsetto Sirius handed the bag to Marlene. "Can you take this dear MK! I need to go show those boys a lesson." Then slipping his wand out of his sleeve Sirius joined the fray.

"Sirius, mate, you can't align yourself with the enemy." Remus' head poked over the boys fort and next to him Peter.

Still talking in a ridiculously high voice Sirius shot off snowballs at the other two Marauders. "Oh yes I can!"

Marlene shook her head as she headed into the school and to the hospital wing leaving the laughter and squeals behind.

She was glad to see that Xeno was with Madame Pomfrey when she got to the Ward. They were in a intense discussions about the magical properties of certain types of toadstools over what smelt like rose tea. _I bet he didn't even go to Hogsmeade. Silly Xeno, much too single minded._

Xeno was talking. "Well, I believe the Wonderland version of the toadstool is accurate but misappropriated...oh Marly, welcome, we're discussing toadstools...can I pour you some tea if you want?"

Poppy smiled and took the bag from Marlene. "Please join us if you'd like."

Marlene nodded. "Well, I will but we have to discuss the rationing of gnome's tooth."

Both Poppy (as she let these two seventh year students call her) and Xeno gasped their indignation. "You can't be serious."

Sirius came in with a girl who looked to be Monica Prewitt in his arms. "Well, I am. Poppy, can we get a bed for this little one. She slipped on the ice."

Poppy was up in a instant, wand out to examine the little second year. "You can place her here Mr. Black and what have I told you to call me?"

"Healer most proficient?" He set Monica down and Poppy shot him a dark look. "Save that glare for the bad news Marlene brings."

"She told me. We'll have to adjust her dosage."

Xeno, who had been sipping his tea, a look on his face that said his mind was elsewhere, suddenly came back to reality staring right at Marlene. "Have you considered honeysuckle and hippogriff feathers?"

Marlene smiled. "How do I take it?"

"You smoke it."

Sirius and Marlene both stopped and looked at Xeno, who was pouring himself more tea, not looking at either of them nor the tea cup.

"Come again?" Sirius leaned forward towards Xeno. _If he just said what he said what I think she said I will die happy. _

"What?" Xeno met Sirius' pale eyes with his own. "Oh, you smoke it, like tobacco, after blending the feathers and the flower together of course. You could probably put it with the tobacco leaves without affecting the benefits of the leaves."

Marlene looked at Sirius and they both grinned wide grins. "And it'll help with the nausea?"

Xeno nodded. "I'll get you some next week."

Marlene thanked Xeno and then went to Poppy, who had thankfully not heard the plans going on between her best volunteers. "Poppy, I'm going to dinner. I'll be back for more meds tonight."

Poppy nodded, waving her wand over Monica and taking notes on her condition. "This ones got a concussion. It'll be a long night. Take Xeno and Mr. Black with you when you go."

Marlene nodded and headed to the Dining Hall between Xeno and Sirius, the three of them discussing whether pomegranate seeds really do prolong your life.

* * *

A/N There you go. Chapter Two. Please review and let me know what you think. In answer to a question: I agree that Peter Pettigrew was a true Marauder until his betrayal and I am looking forward to writing that section of this story. He is described in the book by McGonagall as a boy who _Hero-worshipped Black and Potter. Never quite in their league, talent-wise. _I am of the opinion that although Peter was not as bright as the others he must have kept up with them. He's a complex character and I am going to enjoy bringing him to life.  
Once again - PLEASE review! Thank you!  
Signing out,  
Alex


	3. Moony, Padfoot, Pongs, and Wormtail

III

_November 14, 1978_

[8:36 a.m.] Remus didn't like the fact that he constantly counted down the hours until the full moon but he couldn't help it. It used to be that he and his Mum had to make everything appear as normal as possible for their neighbors before apparating to a forest in Ireland where they had a pen for him. Then it was nerves. What if one of his classmates found out? What is James or Sirius figured it out? When they did at the end of first year that worry went away and he began counting down until he would have to leave them and go to the Shack on his own. Now the anxiety was mixed. He was anxious about the pain as he had always been but he was more anxious, excited, ecstatic about planning their newest adventure. They went over the details at breakfast once more, they'd been mapping the western edges of the Forbidden Forest and had found some rather interesting wildlife back there.

"This entire thing is illegal." Lily whispered to him over her tea. She was between him and Marlene with James, Sirius and Peter across from them.

Remus smiled down at her. "And yet your record is that you didn't turn us in the first time you found out and according to your nature if you think something is wrong you respond to it immediately. Lily, you agree with our plans."

Her eyes flashed with her temper but she wouldn't let it come out and risk exposing what they were discussing. Remus looked up at the teachers table. Dumbledore was still there, drinking his tea and reading a book. Remus felt his stomach knot with guilt. He had assumed he was like Lily, immediate response to wrongs. But when it came to his friends, his true family, he had a blind spot. After all, Dumbledore may have trusted him to come to the school but James and Sirius had made him feel like he belonged. He wouldn't risk that fellowship for an unsettled conscience.

[10:55 a.m.] Thursday was DADA in the morning, which Remus loved. Their class was small, even smaller than last year and it was the only class Sirius didn't sleep through. The class was small, just four units of four students. Remus, being third in the class, was grouped with James, Lily and Sirius.

"Alrighty," Prof. Fenwick began "let me see if anything sank in from class on Monday. We were discussing whether it's expedient to transfigure your opponent for the element of surprise. I know not all of you like to do this. So today, being a practical application class we'll divide out of our units and into two groups. Those comfortable with using transfiguration on my left. Everyone else on my right."

Remus got up and moved to the left. He wasn't surprised when Lily moved to the left leaving. The class was almost even. Benjy, as he let the seventh years call him as he'd been their classmate not two years back, stood up from the desk he was leaning on and looked from one group to the other.

"Now, I have stressed this all year. When you are in a fight, knowing spells isn't enough. When you are faced with someone set on your destruction you have to trust yourself and the spell you want to use. When they use the cruciatus curse they want to cause you pain. You **can't** be focused on technique and the strength of your counter spell. You have to focus on preventing your own destruction. Do the spell you know will keep you living one more day. It could be something as simple as _expelliarmus_" Sirius' wand flew into Benjy's hand "or as painful as using the Flagrante hex on their clothes. Now, I want those of you comfortable enough to transfigure and un-transfigure your classmates to pair up and get to work. The rest of you pair up and we'll assess your strengths in other areas. Left group, remember, you should do transfigure to induce surprise so duel each other formally, the winner will be the first to transfigure the other. Mix it up and move from partner to partner. Black, Potter and Lupin you may not work together same goes for you, Dearborn and Vance."

Sirius groaned but paired up with Emmeline without much hesitation. James turned to Remus. "Benjy didn't say we couldn't duel against each other."

Remus pulled his wand out from behind his ear. "Then arm yourself my brother."

James immediately tried to confund him. Remus countered it and sent a flock of pigeons at him. James incinerated them.

"My pigeons!" Remus cried in mock dismay while blocking James' expelliarmus. A flick of his wand and James was now a penguin.

Remus took stock of the room. Benjy was clarifying with Noah Boaten that turning your opponent into something as dangerous as a snake probably wasn't wise. Sirius was now a pumpkin but Holly Martin quickly turned Emmeline into a mop and then changed Sirius back, probably hoping for a kiss as a thank you, which she got.

"Oi! Black. Focus mate!" Remus hollered and then was knocked onto his arse by James the penguin. "Sorry mate, I forgot about you."

He flicked his wand and James was James again. James rolled over, stood and shot a spell across the room, stunning Bernard Thrace, a fellow Gryffindor, who Lily was dueling.

"Potter!" Benjy and Lily yelled at him simultaneously.

"I can take care of myself..."

"Excellent attention James..."

Lily turned to her teacher, shock on her face, and sputtering. "What?"

Benjy shot blue sparks from his wand signalling everyone's attention. "James just showed an important skill. Even though he was a penguin he was aware of his surroundings. We do not fight alone in the real world. It's not man on man dueling, it's melee fighting. You might get transfigured during the fight but you'll have an ally to help you get back to normal. Once you are back to normal you have to be ready to jump right back into the fight because you are someone else's ally."

Lily was still glaring at James the whole time Benjy was talking. James smiled and then using the hand language the Marauders developed he signed that she was cute when she was mad. She signed back a threat to his manliness. Remus signed to both of them to shut it and pay attention.

"Now we will fight left versus right. Those who transfigure need to get around resistance. Those who don't transfigure need to learn to avoid and counter their spells." Benjy had been transforming the classroom to look like a semi-destroyed building. "Left you have the blue glowing bands, right you have the green ones." He shot out orange sparks signifying the beginning of the fight.

Remus ran behind a taller mound of rock with James and Sirius. "I thought you were trying to reach fifty days without fighting."

James shrugged. "I just forget when I see Thrace. I hate that bastard."

Sirius slapped James' shoulder. "Well, he's still the competition. Has been since she noticed him in fourth year."

"Oi, you three. Vance and I will go left, you go right yeah?" Liam Dearborn called at them. They nodded and coming out from behind the rocks the Marauders ducked, weaved and generally wreaked havoc on the opposing team.

Remus felt his blood rushing. The atmosphere was smoking and hard to see through so his other sense kicked in. Leading the way, flanked by his best mates, he knew they looked terrifying. They came around a dilapidated wall. Stephen Bones was dueling against Gregory Packet, Bonnie McMahon and Lily. Remus silently cast a jelly legs curse at Gregory.

"_Stechpungo_." Lily shot a stinging hex at him. Remus countered it with a wave of his hand and then spun to re-enforce the jelly legs on Gregory.

"_Arresto Momentum_." James threw it at Lily as she ran at Remus. He caught her as she stopped short and started to fall.

"_Bombarda_!" Sirius blew up the wall behind Bonnie and Gregory while Stephan transfigured them both into field mice. Remus froze them and Sirius levitated them.

"Well, that takes care of those two. Come on Lily, stop wiggling." James turned his back on Lily and she downed him with a swift body bind. Both Remus and Sirius attacked her simultaneously. Lily was now a frozen field mouse like the other two. Blue sparks went up declaring that their team had one. Remus waved his wand and Gregory, Lily and Bonnie were back to normal.

"Nicely done mates." Bonnie took Remus' offer to help her up, smiling at him. "Remus, I didn't even hear your voice."

Sirius slapped him on the shoulder. "Remus here doesn't need words."

Remus shrugged off Sirius. "I have been practicing using nonverbal magic. I guess I like to increase the element of surprise."

Bonnie blushed a bit, much to Remus' surprise. "Well, you certainly are surprising."

"You coming Bonnie?" Greg, who had to gone Hogsmeade with Bonnie last month, asked as he headed to the front of the classroom.

"Yeah, uh, give me a second." Bonnie didn't even look at him but called over her shoulder her eyes not leaving Remus. "Can I ask if you tutor?"

Remus grinned, all his teeth showing. "All the time. Do you have a free period tonight?"

Bonnie shook her head. "No, but how does Thursday work for you?"

"Fourth period in the Library?"

"Yeah." Bonnie nodded. "See you then."

They walked as they talked until reaching the front of the now normal classroom. Benjy was having discussion with Gregory and Bernard.

"Sir, it's really wasn't fair. They..." Bernard, arms crossed his chest and dark brown eyes furrowed, indicated with his head at the Marauders and Emmeline and Liam. "...work too well together."

Benjy looked like he was trying not to laugh. "Bernard, call me Benjy and I know it wasn't fair but in life battles aren't fair. You'll be fighting wizards and witches twice your age and seven times your skill level. But when your only thought is get everyone out alive you don't worry about how 'fair' the fight is. And you'll want to work 'too well' with those around you. Now, good job today all of you. No homework, just come to the capture the flag game on Friday evening. Dismissed."

Bonnie smiled at Remus before linking arms with Emmeline and Holly and heading out the door. "You coming Lily?"

Remus saw Lily wave to say she was but her attention was on James. Remus approached them. However his attention was drawn away by a comment Bernard made to Gregory.

"Being out-numbered and less skilled is looking less and less attractive."

Remus frowned to himself. That didn't sound like the attitude of a future Order member. Lily was shouting now and Remus knew he was needed.

"James Tiberius Potter you..."

James spoke calmly for a man on death row. "That's not my middle name."

Lily froze, frowning. "You told me it was!"

James shrugged. "I lied."

Lily, face the color of her hair, punched James in the nose. "You are the biggest prat I have ever had the displeasure of knowing."

"Ow!" James groaned, hand on his nose. "Ugh, Lily, c'mon, you're being unreasonable."

"I am being what? You arse!" Lily threw herself at James but Remus managed to grab her and hold her back from tearing James to pieces

Remus got her to settle down. "Lily, you are going to be late for lunch."

She stomped off to join the other girls. Remus turned to James, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Back to square one Prongs."

Sirius who had watched the whole thing unfold in a state of shock. "You didn't hear what she said Moony."

Remus snarled at Sirius. "You're right I didn't Padfoot because I overheard what I'd call near mutiny from Thrace."

Sirius pulled a hand through his hair, pulling the curls apart, and sighed. "I'm calling a conference...now. Benj, do you mind if we hang back?"

Benjy shook his head. "Nope, just lock up when you leave."

Sirius nodded and then sent a paper airplane to summon Peter. "Alright, while we wait for Wormy we can say the oath."

Remus and James rolled their eyes. "We're adults now. Do we really need to do this?"

Sirius just glared at them and held up his right hand to his forehead, palm facing in, and spoke in his most solemn voice. "I solemnly swear..."

Remus and James mimicked him and they went through the ritual they had created when they were just 11 years old.

"I solemnly swear to that I am up to no good and never plan on to be otherwise." Then they lifted their hands above their head, palms out. "Hail to the brotherhood."

Once the ritual was over and they were sitting Sirius made the opening statements. "As the Marauder who called this conference I say our first official topic is the failure to complete the fifty day project."

The door to the classroom opened and closed. Peter scurried in. "Sorry I'm late" and then he silently went through the ritual himself. Meanwhile Sirius just kept talking.

"So, Flower provoked Prongs today by comparing his defense style to that of Bernard Thrace hereby to be referred to as Moron. Prongs replied that Moron was indeed a moron and didn't deserve the time of day. Flower implied that she didn't feel that way about Moron, in fact she implied she felt very different about him. Prongs called her a berk and then admitted to lying to her thereby breaking two of the rules we set down for him to follow."

James looked both mortified and furious. "Padfoot..."

Sirius held up a hand in James' face. "Shut it Prongsy, I am not done."

James sighed deeply. Remus just rolled his eyes. Peter finally sat down.

"Cor, Prongs, that wasn't too smart of you."

"I realize that Wormtail."

"I was talking." Sirius looked severely at each of them for a moment and then continued. "Since Prongs failed to reach fifty days he needs to do the dare."

James groaned. "Padfoot..."

"It's the rules. Now we all know tonight is not an option so we will put it off until tomorrow. Now onto our second topic. I give the floor to Moony."

Remus sighed. "He just complained to Greg about not liking the odds in the war. I guess I was just surprised to hear the despair in his voice coming from a Gryffindor. I know Bernard..."

Sirius interrupted him. "Use his secret name."

"Fine, Moron, is a pure blood."

"That is not an excuse." Sirius interrupted. "I hear by place Moron, Bernard Thrace, on the watch list."

Remus nodded his consent as did the others. Sirius stood. "Now I am starving. Mischief managed, see you all at the willow tonight."

Remus' felt the worry he always felt roll in his gut. Well, at least he'd had a few hours worry free.

[2:00 pm] Lunch had not gone smoothly. Lily had ignored them. She had sat with them every meal all seventh year but they came into the lunch to see her sitting with Bernard Thrace and his lot. Remus felt the wolf growl inside. Thrace was now suspect of being a traitor and Lily was a friend in danger.

Sirius gripped his shoulder. "Moony, Prongs, let's go sit with Marlene."

Remus was pretty sure he and James were wearing matching faces. They ate lunch, glaring at Lily and Thrace the whole time.

"I knew I never liked that prat." James muttered.

"You should apologize." Marlene insisted.

James rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses. "I will."

Remus poured himself some tea and nodded towards Thrace. "I don't trust him."

"You're paranoid. It's that time of the month. You get paranoid and moody." Sirius took the tea kettle from Remus and poured some for him and Marlene.

"Shut it Padfoot."

"Told you so."

[4:32 p.m.] It was getting dark. Sunset wasn't for another half hour but Remus could feel in his gut that the moon was rising. It would be at full height at 8:01 but the transformation was happening inside of him. His worry left him as he thought about the adventure they would go on tonight.

[8:01 p.m.] Pain. Bones growing and stretching the muscles. Eyes changing, colors muting. A thousand smells for the nose. A thousand sounds for the ears. Howling at the ache of his back, his mouth, his feet and hands. Then instinct. Looking for the dog who enjoyed chewing on his snout, the stag who tussled with him, the rat that rode on his back. His pack.

_November 16, 1978_

[6:27 a.m.] The final vestiges of pain leaves. Sense returns. Colors increase, smells and sounds dim. Groaning from exhaustion in his back, hands and feet. Tongue smoothing over a fangless mouth. Looking for Sirius who helps him up, James who squeezes his shoulder, Peter who hands him tea. His brothers.


	4. The smile, that house and those people

IV

_December 21, 1978_

It had been the prank that got Lily to forgive James. She was passing by the Quidditch pitch with Holly and Marlene during practice when James threw himself from his broom and begged for forgiveness. She had laughed and forgiven him in front of all the people watching (Sev had also been there for some reason). Later on he had asked for forgiveness in private and she had given it to him again. Now they were on day 36 without fighting. Lily liked the odds that they would go further this time round. It's like we've reached an understanding. He respects my opinion. I respect his. Kind of.

He still thought she shouldn't hang around Bernard Thrace but Bernard was cute and payed her attention and hadn't dated at all during school.

She still thought that some, well most, of the stuff he and the Marauders were planning for the year was illegal.

He thought she was exaggerating.

She thought he was jealous.

Sirius thought they should shut up and snog already. "Siriusly, the UST was getting old and cramping my style."

Christmas break was four days away. She was going to Marlene's. Tuney was going to "Vernie's" parents and Lily did not want to spend her hols with a bunch of obscenely obnoxious muggles. She wouldn't have minded if they were at least normal muggles but they weren't so she was not going go.

James and Sirius were going back to the Mansion but planned on taking up Marlene's invitation to stay at her parents for a few days. And both Remus and Peter were spending hols with their families.

But on Christmas day they were all going to get together like they had for the past four years: The McKinnons, Alice and Frank, Benjy, Emmeline, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, the Weasleys, and Gideon and Fabian Prewitt. It felt like they were becoming their own family and Lily was happy about that.

She looked down at her History of Magic essay on the effectiveness of the secrecy statute. You just have to write this last paragraph and you'll be done for the semester.

"Remind me why we are taking this class." Remus asked, he was lying on the floor of the heads common room and scratching out his own essay. "It's so boring."

Lily didn't look at him but chewed her quill and thought about a substitute for the word 'annihilate' that was powerful but not as destructive. "We need it if we're going to get into the Auror program as dispatchers. Only a student of history can lead the present."

"What old muggle foggy said that?" Remus sounded very sarcastic.

Lily scoffed. "I made that up."

They broke into heavy laughter just as James walked in, red nosed and smelling like snow, broom in hand. "What did I miss?"

Remus tried to catch his breath. "Lily Evans was quoting herself."

James just looked at them in confusion.

Lily shrugged, still giggling. "I guess you had to be here."

James just nodded with a small smile and headed to his room. Somehow Lily felt her heart sink as he shut the door, James' small smile had been forced and for some reason that bugged her. Ignore it, she told herself, you are just sensitive because the year is going by so fast.

"Come on, Remus, let's get back to work."

_December 22_

Lily was stuck with Sirius as a partner in Potions and before going on Hols they had to prove they could adequately brew the Draught of Living Death or they would have homework over the break.

Friday evening found them standing in the Potions classroom, wearing goggle and lab coats, trying to brew the "blasted fucker" as Sirius had taken to calling it before leaving the next morning for Christmas hols.

Lily took the sopophorous bean and used her blade to smoosh it. "Maybe this is cheating but I saw Sev do this during class."

Sirius looked at her skeptically but let her do what she wanted. That was how it was between them because she knew more about this than he did. She also knew he thought it was because she had been around Sev (Snivellus) for so many years. She added the smooshed bean and then let him do steps 10 through 17 and before doing the last step herself. They held their breath until the potion turned pale pink.

"We did it!" Lily turned to Sirius. His face matched how she was feeling and suddenly they were jumping up and down, screaming and laughing like a pair of first year girls. Professor Slughorn came out of his office to see about the ruckus.

"Sorry Professor. It's just that Sirius and I brewed Draught of the Living Dead properly. Can you come check?"

Slughorn nodded. "Why Miss Evans, I knew you could do it. This is perfect. No homework for you two this Christmas. Go celebrate and enjoy the holidays." Patting Lily on the head he accio'd her a bottle of champagne. Handing it to her with a wink he headed back to his office.

"Wow." Sirius whistled under his breath. "That looks good."

"Do you have any glasses Mr. Black?"

Sirius conjured to flutes. "To the Astronomy tower?"

Lily nodded and off they went. Soon they were sitting, stargazing and sipping champagne. Sirius looked somber in the moonlight but and was definitely enjoying the good alcohol.

Lily raised to her flute. "To passing Potions."

Sirius clinked glasses to her and meeting her green eyes with his grey ones "To taking it seriously for the first time."

Lily sipped her drink and they didn't break eye contact. Marlene always said that Sirius' eyes constantly held a equal measure of mischief and cynicism.

"She's right. You simultaneous laugh at and mock the world."

Sirius smirked a little. "Marlene is a story teller. Everything is more dramatic to her."

"But you like her that way."

Sirius nodded. "Of course. I like everything about her."

Lily looked away from him first. "We share best friends. We need to start speaking outside of just potions class."

She saw Sirius shrug from the corner of her eye. "What would we talk about?"

"Them."

Sirius arched a single eyebrow. "No."

Lily nodded. "Family."

"The ones we've left behind?"

Lily smirked this time. "School."

Sirius laughed then and even though it sounded like a dog barking Lily joined him. His mirth was contagious.

"To silent partnership." Sirius raised his glass. Lily met his gaze and they clinked glasses. "Do you think Sluggy gave champagne to all his students or just you?"

Lily shrugged. "I don't analyze and compare my interactions with teachers to those of my peers."

"Bull shit."

Lily laughed this time, like thousands of tiny bells. Sirius smirked, tipped back his drink then poured himself some more. He examined the amber liquid with a small frown.

"There was this time Prongs and I got really drunk over the summer. It was a few days after you two left. We had champagne left over from the funeral and it hit us that they were really gone and that we were orphans. We got sloshed and passed out on the back patio. We were drunkenly shooting fireworks off the patio before that. I haven't drank champagne since then."

Lily laughed a little more at the story even though it was sad. "Marlene and I got pissed the night of my parents funeral. My sister was a callous bitch. She told me that day she was marrying Vernon. I lost my whole family that day."

Now Sirius had three heads and all of them nodded solemnly "Living Dead like that potion we did."

"Yes." Lily replied but it came out as "yesh" and that got them crying and laughing all at once.

Sirius raised his glass. "To awful relatives!"

Lily knocked her glass into his. "To the moon!"

"To potions and to champagne!"

Lily giggled. "To you Sirius the Un-serious!"

"and to you Flower!"

"What the hell are you two doing? I could hear you from the bottom of the stairs."

Lily frowned at James, standing in the stairwell.. "It's none of your damn busyness Potter. And, damn it, stop moving. I am drunk and I can't focus on you if you keep moving."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Flower, Prongs is standing still. Prongs we are drunk because ol Sluggy gave Flower here a bottle of fine champagne for a job well down and we just drank the whole thing. Help us get to our beds so we can sleep this off?"

Lily saw James nod, that small smile of his face, before she passed out. After that Sirius and Lily were friends.

_December 23_

The train pulled in station filling the the air with smoke, Lily watched it like she always did.

"The fact that your face lights up simply by looking at the train says a lot about you."

Lily turned to face Bernard. "You would think that after all the magical things I have seen a simple stream train wouldn't matter but everytime I see it I'm still awed. I guess that makes me an innocent."

Bernard smiled a half smile. Lily smiled back thinking If I wasn't me that smile would make my knees weak.

"Whoever said being an innocent was a bad thing?" He arched an eyebrow though on him it was not as endearing as it would have been on other people.

Lily smiled as the train came to a full stop and students started boarding. "No one whose opinion I care about."

"Lily!" Peter Pettigrew came through the crowd and grabbed Lily's bag just as Bernard reached for it. "We're all in the heads compartment. Oh, hullo Thrace."

Peter indicated that he was leaving with a nod of his head. Lily waved goodbye to Bernard and followed Peter through the crowd of students and onto the train.

Peter squinted at her. "Why do you talk to that fellow?"

Lily shrugged. "He starts it and I don't dislike him enough to ignore him."

Peter nodded and then opened the door for her. The other three Marauders were playing poker. Marlene was reading, her head on Sirius's lap.

James looked up, smiled his half smile and arched an eyebrow. "What took you so long?"

Peter set her trunk under a seat, sat and picked up his cards. "Evans was distracted by Thrace."

James looked at Lily with concern. "Was Nardy bothering you?"

Lily noted that the half smile and eyebrow were endearing on James Potter. "No, we were talking about how the Hogwarts Express never ceases to amaze me. And his name is Bernard."

James went back to his game but that forced smile replaced his earlier expression. "That's nice."

There was something about the way he said it made Lily think he was lying.

Train rides were the most boring experiences, according to Padfoot, especially when there is no one to talk to. Duck and Wormtail had both fallen asleep. Prongs and Moony were playing chess and Flower was reading. Padfoot went to go find the trolley lady. He walked through the corridors of the train passing compartments full of nervous first years relying on the "expertise" of confident second years, studious third and sixth years and obnoxious fourth and fifth years. He ignored them all, feeling like he owned the world.

"You look smug, Black." Regulus drew his attention, leaning in the open door jam of his Slytherin filled compartment. If Prongs and Padfoot looked like brothers than Regulus was Prongs' twin.

"I have no reason to feel otherwise, Black." Padfoot replied and kept moving. Engaging with his brother while in a confined area was sheer idiocy. This fact spoke volumes about Regulus' character when he decided to follow Padfoot into the hallway.

"Is there anything particular you are feeling smug about Black?"

Padfoot turned to face his brother. "Why don't you fuck off?"

Regulus just smirked at him, grey eyes cold. "Why don't you make me."

"You sound like Avery."

"You sound like Potter."

Padfoot growled. Regulus didn't look phased. It was always like this. They would face each other and time with freeze.

"Have you really thought this through Black?" Regulus said it but Padfoot was thinking it.

Reg continued speaking, "Because if you are really set in your ways I'd watch where the sparks fly after you burn the bridge."

Padfoot started to walk away, still facing his brother with his arms wide. "How many times do we have to have this conversation? It's burned down Black."

Regulus shook his head. "Not all of it. Not yet."

Padfoot froze. Reg look so deadly serious, his eyes betraying his brokenness. Then time started to move again.

"Whatever you say." Padfoot turned his back to his brother and headed out to smoke instead of finding the trolley lady. The December wind bite into his skin and he didn't do anything to charm away the effects. He did however set up a shield so the wind wouldn't blow out his cigarette. He was through his second one when he heard the door open behind him. It was only a matter of time before she found you.

"Can I bum one?"

Sirius lit her a cigarette from the end of his own and then handed it to her. Marlene took it and they were able to smoke in silence for a few moments leaning on the railing of the train watching the snowy Scottish landscape pass them by.

"What's eating you?"

But silence is impossible with Duck. "Nothing."

"Liar."

"Bugger off."

"No." Marlene's face was set in a cold mask. "You can't just dismiss me like that."

Sirius snorted. "If you are going to pry I sure as hell can."

"You talked to Regulus, didn't you?"

"And if I did?"

Marlene wanted to slap him. Sirius wanted to cuss her out. Neither of them wanted to meet the others eyes. Regulus was the bone of contention.

Finally Marlene said what she always said. "Sirius, you take him too seriously."

"He's my brother." He he used his old cigarette to light a new one then stubbed it out. "You wouldn't understand."

"Like hell! My family..."

Sirius cut her off with a wave of his hand and the loud snap of his voice. "Is so fucking healthy that to compare it to mine is like a bad joke. Marlene you don't know know what the hell you're talking about."

"I would if you told me." Her voice was small, almost hollow.

Sirius sucked in more smoke and blew it out with vengeance. "We had one rule to make this work."

Marlene growled. "One we break every bloody month. 'Don't grow close' we said. Well welcome to the real world Sirius because I feel pretty fucking close to you and I know you feel the bloody same way."

Sirius kissed her, hard and good. "Where are you in your cycle?"

Marlene was still swimming from the kiss but her indignation seeped into her words. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"You're uptight."

"You can't fix this with sex."

Sirius didn't respond. Of course I can. I always do. What is it with you that I get like this? He stubbed out his third cigarette and turned to go back inside.

Marlene tried to not let it hurt her. The wind picked up and pierced her to the bone. She'd been out here too long and yet she didn't want this to end like this. Please don't leave me. "Sirius..."

He turned to look at her. "One rule, we fix things with sex. You want a relationship, go fuck Remus."

"Sirius Orion Black you are a bastard."

"Name calling? How second year of you, duck."

She moved towards him, pushed him through the doorway. He turned to get out of her way and slammed into the door of an empty compartment. The train warmed their skin and their eyes had to adjust from the bright winter sun to the warm glow of lanterns.

"I don't give a shit if you think I am being juvenile. If I wanted Remus I would have gone to him. I didn't." She was pressed against him. He had instinctively grabbed her waist. Their face were inches apart and she could smell the smoke and cold mountain air on his breath. He could smell her lavender shampoo under the cold and smoke that also clung to her. He felt strong, solid under her but she knew he was like shifting sand and she was little more than a pebble, easily buried. Only when he shifted to hold her better did she felt safe. It was his eyes, grey, intent and with that touch of humor, that made her anger melt.

"I know." He whispered before kissing her again. She let her head swim and got lost in the comfortable feel of his lips on hers. They came up for air. He pressed his forehead to hers.

"Sirius..."

He pressed his fingers to her lips. "I know. We're both morons."

She kissed him again, letting her heart bleed into the taste and smell of him.

"You're sure you can't..."

Marlene shook her head. "Three more days. Delayed gratification."

Sirius nodded and kissed again. "Well, lets go join the others before we get scar some poor first year."

_December 25_

Christmas is by and large the best time of the year. James watched the snow fall, the sun set, and Christmas lights blink from each of the houses in Ottery St. Catchpole. He heard the laughter coming from the kitchen where every female in the house was working on Christmas dinner, the shouts from kids coming home from a day of sledding and snowball fights, and the low conversation from the living room where Arthur, Mr. McKinnon, and Frank discussed the most recent rumors in the Auror department. He could smell the tree, the turkey, and the pudding. Most of all he felt content. He missed his parents but he was glad to be where he was, surrounded by his favorite people. He thought he could hear his Mum's laugh from the kitchen, it made him want to hug her for some odd reason. Then he remembered his Mum wasn't there, she was gone.

"Dinner's ready!" Nora Mckinnon, a small witch of about 40 or so with silver and black hair tied in a tight bun, called as she set down the turkey. "Molly, where are your boys?"

Molly, looking very pregnant, started to sit (with Arthur's help) at the table. "They're out with Remus and Sirius. They'll be back soon."

The door flew open and Remus and Sirius tumbled in with a flurry of snow, Billy and Charlie Weasley on their backs and little Percy swinging between them singing at the top of their lungs.

"We are not daily beggars/That beg from door to door/We are neighbors' children/Whom you have seen before/Love and joy come to you..."

Molly shook a finger at them all. "You are my children and I am telling you to shush and sit or you won't eat. Now shut the door before we all freeze."

The boys squealed and tried to shuck their layers. Lily and Marlene helped them. Sirius and Remus didn't look sheepish at all for the ruckus they had caused.

Sirius moved towards Nora, arms as wide as his grin. "Oh, Mrs. McKinnon, you have outdone yourself this year. Never in all my life have I seen such a Christmas spread."

Nora didn't look up from carving the turkey. "Mr. Black, stomp the snow off your boots, quit your flattery, and come sit."

Sirius winked at Marlene. "It warms my heart how much you mum likes me."

Marlene just laughed. Both whirled around when Lily squealed.

"Stop it NOW Remus! Learn to keep your freezing paws to yourself."

Remus was laughing hard, his wolfish grin in place. "It was only a brief touch on the back of your neck."

"With paws like ice cubes. I refuse to sit by you. James, scoot over."

Everyone settled into their seats. Nora Mckinnon, to her left was her husband Rory, then their sons Neil and Snyder, followed by Alice and Frank, then Arthur and Molly Weasley and their small crew: Billy, Charlie, and Percy, sitting next to Molly's brothers Gideon and Fabian, then came Benjy, Emmeline Vance, Lily, James, Peter, Remus, Sirius, and finally Marlene on her moms right.

Everyone was talking at once and passing the food every which way.

James felt content seep into bones. "I wish it was always like this."

Lily turned to him, mouth full of potato "Hmm?"

"What? Oh, I didn't mean to say anything out loud."

She swallowed and smiled. "But what did you say?"

James looked at her dead in the eyes. "I wish it could always be like this."

Lily nodded. "I agree. I don't think I love anyone as much as I love all the people here."

"Even me?" James wiggled his eyebrows but his thoughts didn't match his face Dammit James, you are just going to screw this up.

Lily rolled her eyes and looked away from him. "It's only been 40 days."

James nodded and picked at his popper. "That's quite a while."

Lily nodded. "I know."

James distracted himself by cracking his popper and out came a shiny black top hat. He put it on.

"Nice Prongs!" Sirius, wearing a flowery ribbon covered bonnet that appeared to have a fake bird nesting on it, called out.

"It's better than Padfoot's." Remus called. He got gray fedora with a red ribbon.

"Not as fine as mine." Peter had a bearskin hat like the muggle London guards wore only his was chartreuse.

"Or mine." Marlene had a coonskin hat that she was wearing with the tail in her face.

Lily cracked hers open. "Ooh! I like mine!"

James frowned. "What is that?"

"It's a fez!" Lily put it on. "I wear a fez now, fezzes are cool."

James just shook his head at her and then looked around the rooms. Molly had a fruit hat from which Percy, in a simple paper crown, was demanding to have a banana. Arthur had a green eye shade like silly yankee muggle golfers wore. Billy had a porkpie and Charlie, a flat cap. Alice had a green witches hat like something her mother-in-law would wear while Frank wore a red plaid tam. Gideon and Fabian both got umbrella hats that spun. Rory had a white fur cap and Nora, a deerstalker. Benjy had a ten gallon cowboy hat and Emmeline, a red derby. Neil had a straw boater with pinwheels stuck in it and Snyder wore a aviator cap with the goggles on. They all looked quite silly but it only added to the happiness that was filling the room to the brim.

"That suits you." Lily caught his attention.

"I'd say the same for yours but I can't take you seriously in it."

Lily laughed and moved the black tassel back and forth. "I like it."

Looking at her bright smile all he wanted to do was kiss her but she'd just punch him and he didn't want to get blood on Mrs. McKinnon's linens. Come on, James, you promised yourself you wouldn't be stupid. But it was so hard when she was smiling and laughing and being so wonderfully Lily right next to him.

The dishes were cleared and Mrs. McKinnon brought out a flaming pudding, treacle tart and brown sugar shortbread. James took some of everything. His head was buzzing from the champagne and he felt stuffed to the brim.

The evening was coming to a close and he, the other Marauders and possibly Marlene were going back to the Manor for the night. He still had one last present to give. The tables had been moved and everyone had played charades until their sides hurt. Lily had been wonderful all night, sitting by him at dinner and during the games. I even made her laugh several times. It had been wonderful and giving this present would break the magic. He'd seen it at the jewelers on Diagon alley and as soon as he'd seen it he'd thought of her. Before he knew what had happened, he'd bought it and had it gift wrapped for her. Now he was going to give it to her, consequences be damned.

Lily held a sleeping Percy while Molly bundled up the other two. "You will come and visit us during Easter hols right?"

Lily nodded. "Yes, I'm going to want to get a job but yes I'll come."

Molly kissed her cheek and took Percy from her. "We'll see you then."

Lily turned away and saw James watching her, still wearing his top hat. He had been wonderful all night and even made her laugh. It felt like a piece of Christmas magic. But tomorrow we'll be back to normal quarreling selves. Somehow that saddened her.

James approached, hands behind his back. He got me a present and I...

"This is for you Lily." It was a long black velvet case. "Happy Christmas." Then he touched her shoulder and pecked her on the cheek. He backed up and held her gaze for a moment before turning around to leave.

"Happy Christmas." She hollered after him but she wasn't sure if he heard. She looked down at her present and hesitantly opened it.

Inside, lying on red velvet, was a necklace with a silver doe. It was beautiful and delicate and it ruined everything. She wasn't going to be able to go back to being ordinary with him after this.

She didn't even think about putting it on. She just left it in the box and put the box in pocket of her jeans. Running a hand through her hair, which was now just past her shoulders, she grabbed her coat.

"Nora? I'm in the yard."

Nora McKinnon stuck her head out of the kitchen where she and Alice were washing dishes and talking about their husbands. "Take a coat and don't stay out too long."

"Will do!" Lily pulled on one of the coats by the door and headed out back. The night was clear and Lily distracted herself by charting constellations. Sticking her hands into the pockets of the coat she felt the box of cigarettes.

"I need those." Marlene stood in the doorway, lit up from the back from the hall light.

Lily smiled at her best mate and moved back into the circle of light coming from indoors to hand her the box. "I know. Light me one up too."

"That bad?" Marlene lit two with the end of her wand.

Lily shrugged, sitting on the damp wooden porch steps. "That confusing. I don't want to fight with him but he drives me up the wall. I'm not like you MK."

"No one is." Marlene didn't sit for fear that she would get back up.

They smoked and stargazed and let Christmas pass them until too sharp cracks broke the silence.

The Marauders appeared in the yard covered in soot.

Lily stood, letting her cigarette drop, and moved towards them. Her anger at James lost when she saw them. "What the hell happened to you two?"

James looked from her to Marlene and then back, his expression shocked. "The Mansion. Someone burned it down."

It was true. Miles from the McKinnon household in Ottery St. Catchpole, the Potter mansion was burning down. It had been burning for several hours, was burning when they had apparated there and and continued to burn when they left. The fire was beyond control. The house was beyond saving.

Back at the McKinnon's, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter stood, still covered in soot, having their burns tended to by Nora, Marlene, Lily and Alice. Snyder, Frank, and Rory all stood around as well. Everyone had a mug of tea.

"We apparated into the foyer like we always do but only there was no foyer. If Padfoot hadn't kept his head we'd be dead. Ow!"

Nora was wrapping his hand. "Sorry James. These burns aren't so very bad. You should be fine in the morning."

"Thanks Mrs. McKinnon."

Lily had finished with Remus and Alice with Peter. Nora shook her head and turned to see how Marlene was doing with Sirius. Neither of them had spoken since the blokes had shown up.

Sirius was looking intently at the floor, his face contorted in fury. His voice was cold when he started but crescendoed until even the neighbors could hear him. "He said to be careful where the sparks fell. The wanker didn't think he'd get burned by his own fire? Does he believe he's invincible? Well two can play this game. I won't let him do this!"

Everyone looked shocked as Sirius stormed to the door.

"Petrificus Totalus."

"Effodisset."

James and Marlene reacted simultaneously leaving Sirius knocked out and frozen on the ground. Rory and Snyder ran to pull him up right.

"Inconvi Obdormis." Nora whispered the spell and soon Sirius was snoring leaning against her husband. "Take him to the guest room. He'll sleep until morning. Now what was he on about and where did I leave my tea?"

They all moved back into the kitchen and drank their tea.

James spoke first, his face a grimace. "He believes Regulus burned the house down. I agree but we haven't any proof."

Marlene nodded. "They spoke on the train. Regulus really got under his skin this time. He always does but this time it was really bad." She turned to Lily. "That's why we fought."

Remus pulled a hand through his blonde hair, making it stand on end. "I agree with James but when Sirius wakes up we have to do our best to discourage any thought of personal revenge."

"That'll be nigh impossible. Regulus and Padfoot hate each other." Peter reached to pour himself more tea as he spoke.

"Right now I just want you all to go to bed." Nora insisted. "We can go to Gringotts tomorrow for the insurance and buy you both whatever needs to be replaced. You can borrow from Neil and Snyder tomorrow. Speaking of, Snyder can sleep in Neil's room and Lily can you bunk with Marlene?"

Lily nodded. "Follow me blokes. We'll get you settled."

She showed them to the guest room she'd claimed as her own since leaving her parents house last spring. Books and clothes lay everywhere. She flicked her wand to clean it up. "Sirius is in the guest room across the hall. Two of you can sleep here. Snyder's room is that way." She pointed down the hall and grabbing her bedding she headed in the opposite direction.

"Lily." James reached out instinctively to touch her arm. "Thank you."

Lily smiled at him and then at Peter and Remus. It was small but it touched her green eyes heavy with sleep. Her voice was scratchy and weary. "Get some sleep."

She moved down the hall dragging her blankets behind her. James had looked at her with such sincere gratitude, Remus and Peter were grateful too but James...he always managed to surprise her. He was never what she thought he was so she didn't know what to expect anymore.

_December 26_

After breakfast the Marauders, with Lily and Marlene, stood in front of the new ruins of the Potter Mansion. No one moved. The wind blew the ashes high. The left wall stood tall but scorched black.

"There's nothing left." Sirius, looking sullen but none worse the wear from being knocked out the night before.

James moved closer until he was standing in the midst of the house. Sirius, Remus, and Marlene followed him but Lily and Peter hung back.

James found what used to be his playroom and had later became his and Sirius' den. It was now a pile of rubble and burnt wooden framing. A few pieces of the wall paper flew past him as he bent to touch the floor. Ash was piled like ant hills across it, covering up the persian carpet. He looked up at clear winter sky wondering why it dared be so cheerful when his life had fallen apart.

They're gone. I am alone. Like a summer storm it broke over him that he, James Theodore Potter, was the last of the Potter line. He screamed then, sounding a bit like a banshee. Remus approached him and threw an arm over his shoulder. Sirius stood by and met James' gaze, both sets of eyes full of anguish and fury.

"What are we going to do then?" Lily, standing outside the ruins, hair whipping around her face and arms hugging her sides, called out.

James looked from her to his mates and then pulled out his wand. "We clean it up and leave it for others to explore. They would have liked that."

Silently the six of them worked until the house looked less like a burnt down building and more like ancient ruins. James conjured a plaque that spoke about an ancient and noble family who had once lived there.

Then they left. They didn't go into Ottery St. Catchpole. They apparated to a small muggle village that Remus knew. Sirius wanted new clothes that weren't wizarding and none of them wanted to face the real world anyways.

There was a charity store in the town, whose name (which was the same as the town) none of them could recall afterward, and they all tried on clothes. Even the blokes did and it made them all laugh. Emmeline Vance soon found them and brought Liam Dearborn and Bonnie Mcmahon with her to meet up with them. Bonnie had a camera. She ended up using three rolls of film as she took pictures of them all dressing up.

"This suits you perfectly." Peter was holding a bright purple suit to Sirius.

"Ow, that pun was painful Peter. Besides the only folks who can pull off purple suits are evil villains and marching bands." Lily commented as she pawed through shirts.

"First, what are you on about?" Sirius, looking at jeans, asked Lily. "Second, why are you looking in the mens department?"

"Sirius, these are for you." Marlene came over with her arms full of shirts.

"I was just thinking that the only people I could see in a purple suit were evil comic book villains or a marching band. Also, I like blokes clothes." Lily replied to Sirius as she sized up a jean overshirt.

"Ok, I will pretend I understood you, Flower." Sirius looked through what Marlene brought over. "Thanks for these, Duck."

"Don't call me that." Marlene called over her shoulder with a wave of her fingers as she went towards the shoes.

"What do you think?" James came over, looking much like himself.

"You look fine." Peter and Sirius said simultaneously.

James looked skeptically down at his jeans and oxford over a v-neck vest. "You sure."

"You look no differently than you normally do." Lily replied without thinking.

James nodded. "Where's Moony?"

Sirius pointed to where there were some bookcases. "Over there, the furry bibliophile, with Bonnie and Emmy."

James nodded and went to ask them about his outfit.

"I found some other stuff for you, Sirius." Marlene came back, passing James as she did. "James, you look good."

She dumped another load into Sirius arms with an eskimo kiss. He rolled his eyes. "Duck, pick out things I will wear not just things you can steal from me."

"Sirius, did you just use the word bibliophile correctly?" Lily interrupted.

"Sirius, I pick out things that are soft and comfy. You should thank me." Marlene insisted.

"Well, if I must: thank you, my dear duck. Despite what you hear Flower, I am neither illiterate nor a buffoon."

"Could have fooled me." Peter snarked, trying on different hats.

"Shut up, Wormy." Sirius snapped but the smile on his face said he didn't really mind Peter's comments.

"Remus says I look good." James came back, wearing a different oxford over a black tee.

"And you believe him and not us." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Padfoot. You dress like a freak." James pulled off the oxford.

Emmy Vance came over, her arm around Liam. "Um, I was wondering, how are you all paying for this?"

James and Sirius looked at each other. Then James walked to the dressing rooms. Everyone went back to browsing. Several minutes later James was back.

"Ready to check out?" James asked. Everyone nodded. They purchased everything on one bill, even Remus' muggle novels, Lily's massive sweatshirt, Peter's newsboy cap, Sirius' and James' rebuilt wardrobe, a tea set for Emmy and a various pairs of shoes for anyone who wanted them.

The small old lady at the counter looked expectantly at James. "That'll be £37.18."

James frowned, then turned to Lily and handed her his billfold. "Can you handle this?"

Lily tried not to smirk at him. She paid the lady and they grabbed their bags.

Marlene linked arms with Sirius. "Where to now?"

"I saw a pub that way." Liam pointed down street. A few people were hurrying past them. It was starting to snow. "And I am famished."

"Me too." Remus replied linking arms with Bonnie and heading down the street at a run. Marlene and Sirius then Emmy and Liam took off after them.

Lily watched them run through the snow with a do I feel so sentimental?

James started off, paper bag of clothes slung over his shoulder, Peter at his side. They were talking and laughing. Lily slipped her hands into her pockets and felt James' present. Had that only been last night? It feels like that was a million years ago.

She was no longer angry with him. She was confused but not angry. Maybe they could just be normal together. It's hard to picture me ever getting on well with him but maybe we can just keep on not fighting so very often.

Lily set off after her friends. When she arrived at the tavern, called The Watchdog, she looked through the frosted window. Ugh, why are my eyes so watery. I should get in from the cold. But the view was too picturesque to look away from at first. Remus and Sirius approached the table with tankards for each one. Marlene and Emmy were laden with a mess of food. Other groups were gathered there but none kept her attention like her own. They were young and happy.

No one would guess we were to fight a war in the coming years. That was when Lily Evans knew she was going to tell Dumbledore that she was indeed going to join the Order of the Phoenix, for these ones she loved.

James leaned back against the bench and drank his beer. He felt hollow inside. The day had passed quickly and once or twice he had been able to forget what had happened only to remember and force himself to keep his tears inside. He knew the others wouldn't care of he cried but James himself would care.

The moment in the ruins played on repeat in his mind. The feeling of being alone had lifted because he had Sirius, Remus, Peter and even Lily and Marlene. The feeling of being the last of the Potter line didn't lift. It was a weight that settled in his stomach and heart and mind.

He looked up when the bells above the door rang out. Lily came in through a flurry of snow and cold wind. Her cheeks were as red as her hair and her eyes were bright with cold and what he suspected were tears. She didn't look around the room or spare a glance for the bartender. She met his gaze head on. She'd been crying. He wondered why. For him? He hoped not. He didn't want to cause her tears and yet it seemed their fate. He wondered if he'd ever made her cry before. He also wondered at the bright fire that shone in her eyes. She'd made some kind of decision about something. Maybe, if he was quiet and patient, she'd tell him. The moment ended when Lily broke their look and turned to hang up her cloak.

James turned back to the others. Sirius was watching him from across the table where he sat, arm around Marlene. Sirius nodded towards Lily as she approached. James shrugged. Sirius rolled his eyes. Then they both listened to Liam as he told them about his Dad's news from the Order.

"I don't see how he means to keep me from joining after graduation." Liam sighed and drank from his beer. Lily patted him on the shoulder as she took the seat next to him, three to the left of James.

"We'll need as many hands and wands as possible." Lily reached for a beer and some of the mixed nuts.

"Lily, do you mean..." James was interrupted by the beginning of a song. The only other people in the tavern were a group of Irish men and women. James assumed they had apparated closer to the western coast than he'd previously thought.

_Oh all the money that e'er I spent  
__I spent it in good company  
__And all the harm that e'er I've done  
__Alas, it was to none but me  
__And all I've done for want of wit  
__To memory now I can't recall  
__So fill to me the parting glass  
__Good night and joy be with you all_

The singer was young woman with a high clear voice. James recognized the song as 'the Parting Glass'. There was a record his Father loved, had loved, with that song on it. It was a farewell song. Right then, the lyrics and the finely blended voices cut through James like a knife.

_So fill to me the parting glass  
__And drink a health whate'er befalls  
__And gently rise and softly call  
__Good night and joy be to you all_

It seemed one of the other company was no longer with them. They all sang and cried together in memory of that missing friend. James' hollow heart and weighted shoulders collided inside. Lily had spoken of the cause in first person. James took his eyes of the singers for a moment to look at her. She was staring into her tankard but he knew she was listening intently.

_Oh all the comrades that e'er I've had  
__Are sorry for my going away  
__And all the sweethearts that e'er I've had  
__Would wish me one more day to stay  
__But since it falls unto my lot  
__That I should rise and you should not  
__I'll gently rise and I'll softly call  
__Good night and joy be with you all_

She was going to join the Order. That had been the source of her tears and the source of the fire in her eyes. Of all the comrades he'd ever had she was the finest and bravest. She would not stand alone. He would tell Dumbledore as soon as he got back that he wanted to join the Order so Lily wouldn't be alone.

_So fill to me the parting glass  
__And drink a health whate'er befalls  
__And gently rise and softly call  
__Good night and joy be to you all_

The last strands of the song hung in the air like leaves falling in a gusty storm. James felt his heart break a little more as anger and denial slipped away. He would do this and maybe then his parents death wouldn't be in vain.

_So fill to me the parting glass  
__And drink a health whate'er befalls  
__And gently rise and softly call  
__Good night and joy be to you all_

* * *

A/N Hullo all. As a reader and a writer I prefer long chapters. This means that it will take me longer to update. Please let me know what you think - shorter chapters with more updates or longer chapters with less frequent updates (never longer than 8 days if I can help it).

For the song 'the Parting Glass' I like the Wailin' Jenny's version and the High King's version. Both are on Spotify.

Thanks for the reviews - especially to the guests that I can't thank in a pm. :D Reviews = love!

signing out,  
Alex


	5. Welcome To The New Age

V

_December 31, 1978_

"10!" Marlene yelled at the top of her lungs. She turned from her game a wizarding chess with Peter to get her drink.

"9!" Sirius hollered coming to sit behind Marlene on the chair.

"8 and checkmate." Peter knocked over Marlene's king.

Marlene crossed her arms and leaned back into Sirius. "7. I don't think that was fair."

"6." Remus, sitting across the room messing with the radio dials to get the countdown to the New Year come in clearer, called out.

"5." James tried to look casual as he approached Lily.

"4." Lily, sitting with Emmy and Liam, giggled and didn't notice James coming over.

"3." Bonnie walked towards Remus.

"2." Nora called from the kitchen.

No one said 1.

Sirius and Marlene kissed from where they sat and then knocked back their champagne. Liam and Emmy knocked back their drinks and then kissed. Bonnie surprised herself and Remus by standing on tiptoe to give him her first kiss. And Peter didn't notice he was the odd man out because he was too distracted by how well Lily was responding to James' kiss. James had not expected Lily to warm to him but, then again he was drunk. "Happy New Year, Evans."

"Mmhmm." Lily smiled up at him, more drunk than he was, and then she passed out.

_January 1, 1979_

They all had headaches and didn't do anything.

_January 8, 1979_

The train pulled into Hogsmeade late that evening. The 'horseless' carriages were waiting, but ever since the summer each of the Marauders and even Lily and Marlene could see the thestrals that pulled them. They never commented on this, it was just their reality. They got to their dorms and prepped for bed.

"James?"

James running his hand through his hair and putting on his practiced smile turned to face Lily, who was standing in her bedroom doorway, cracking her knuckles. He couldn't tell if she'd forgotten the kiss, didn't remember or wanted to act like it hadn't happened. "Yes, Evans?"

"I can't find one of my trunks."

That was close. James headed to his room. "It'll show up but I'll check and see if it's with mine."

It was. James brought it to her and they wished each other goodnight.

Routine soon returned: classes, homework, Heads duties, Quidditch and friends. The kiss wasn't brought up.

_January 15, 1979_

It was barely sun up but Sirius found that if he stayed up all night he wouldn't feel so sleepy the next morning. He took off at a run, heading along the lake to the west so he wasn't facing the sun.

Last night's adventure clung to him. They had tracked something only he and Moony could smell through the forest into a foul smelling swamp and then ran through what he could only call a centaur's out house. He had mud on his legs and leaves in his hair. The heightened sense of smell and hearing faded with each step he took. The colors hurt his eyes less as the sun rose and lightened the world. The rhythm of heel to toe eased his limbs into their two legged state.

He wondered if the others felt as at home in their animal forms as he did. Somedays we wondered if he could be an animal for an extended period of time. And once he had even thought about living his summers as a stray dog but he'd moved in with the Potter instead. Maybe it would be better to be a dog because then he would never have to mourn his parents. It really wasn't fair that he had to say goodbye twice. The universe was a fucked up place to give him parents only to take them away 14 months later.

His stomach rumbled. Food, he liked food. He was going to have belgian waffles and coffee for breakfast. Coffee...the drink of the gods.

He passed through the stone archways, through the front hall and into the dining room, his trainers flapping against the floor and echoing off the walls. He hummed to himself as he took a seat at the Gryffindor table and poured himself coffee.

Several Ravenclaws were already up, eating and studying, but no Hufflepuffs. A few sixth years who looked a bit too hungover joined him at the Gryffindor table. Prongs and the others wouldn't be there for another hour at least, so he sipped his coffee until he saw that there were muffins. Sirius loved many things but muffins were high on that list. He grabbed several and began to spread jam on them when the arrival of several Slytherins caught his attention.

It was Avery and Black. Avery was pocketing an envelope. Sirius breathed in his coffee and tried to keep from hexing Black into the netherworld. Then his attention was diverted by someone else coming into the dining hall. Bernard Thrace came in and looked around the room as if wondering if anyone noticed him. Sirius watched Thrace and Avery nod at one another before the former moved towards the Ravenclaw table.

Guilty by association. Sirius pondered these actions as he ate his muffins.

Wormtail and Prongs came clattering through the door soon enough.

"How's Moony?" Sirius queried.

Prongs took his seat on Sirius' left, placing Sirius at his right hand like always, and began to assemble his first cup of tea for the morning. "Resting up. Once more ol' Pomfrey was surprised that he came back looking healthier than he left. If that's not proof to Evans that what we're doing is illegal but not illegitimate, I don't know what is."

Wormtail sat to Sirius' right and served himself oatmeal. "But you will never tell her that."

Prongs leaned forward to glare at Wormtail. "She's smart, she should figure it out on her own."

"Who should figure what out on her own?" Lily, Marlene and Bonnie appeared from nowhere and took their seats. Lily on Prongs' left, Marlene across from Sirius, her feet finding his and Bonnie across from Lily because Moony wasn't there. The girls began to assemble their own breakfasts and Sirius decided it was the moment to divulge the strange going on's he'd seen that morning. The noise level of the hall had risen considerably and he ascertained they wouldn't be overheard.

Sirius cleared his throat, spoke "Thrace had interactions with Avery and Black this morning." Then he bit into his fifth muffin.

Everyone froze.

Prongs spoke first. "Dammit, Padfoot, how can you say something like that and then go on eating your breakfast?"

Sirius put the muffin, half bitten, down. "Well, I can't very well eat muffins in an agitated manner. I'd get butter on my sleeves."

Prongs rolled his eyes.

Lily leaned forward to see Sirius' face but she spoke to James. "Say something like what?"

Wormtail answered. "Pads all but accused Thrace of Death Eater leanings."

Bonnie and Marlene hushed him.

"Don't say that out loud! Do you want to get us all hexed?" Lily snapped at him.

Prongs placed a hand on her forearm. "We won't be."

James looked at her. Lily looked back. Sirius tapped Marlene with his foot and raised his eyebrows. Bonnie nudged Marlene in the elbow. Peter just ate his porridge because he was the oblivious type.

Then Lily broke the look and acted like her eggs were the most fascinating thing in existence. James started on his third cup of tea and changed the topic to second term class schedules. Breakfast was finished. The group dispersed.

Lily had a free period. She went up to the Hospital Wing to see Remus.

"I just got him to go back to sleep." Madame Pomfrey stated. "But you can leave him the chocolate and come back when he wakes up."

Lily passed the immaculate white beds to the curtained off section where Remus was sleeping. She left him the chocolate frogs she had brought and then left.

What now? She wandered through the halls somewhat aimlessly. She didn't want to allow her thoughts to drift or they would end up in the same place they did every night before going to bed. She and James had kissed. Did he even remember it? did it mean something? It had been lovely for some bizarre reason even though they had been drunk. James had tasted...good.

She didn't want to keep thinking about it all so she went to the back of the library and made origami cats and dogs, charming them to dance. But her thoughts would not be charmed to stay still so she pulled out one of the books Marlene had gotten her for Christmas. It was Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Stevenson. It was chilling but brilliant. It sucked up her thoughts and kept them until her wand buzzed noting that she had double potions to get to.

She hated potions class. She loved the subject, the teacher and even her desk mate now that she and Sirius were friends but she hated the class.

It's because you're shite at relationships Lily admonished herself. She rounded the corner in the dungeons and stopped outside the classroom door. She was 5 minutes early, just as she liked it. She leaned against the cold stone wall and pulled out her book. Other seventh year students started to gather but Lily remained firmly in Stevenson's world of thrills and horror. Unlike Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts, Advanced Potions had students from every house. This added drama to the otherwise boring class. Drama Lily wanted to do without.

After rereading the same damn sentence five times Lily found she could only focus on her surroundings. Marlene showed up with Sirius and Peter and they leaned on the wall with her. Lily kept pretending she was reading. Peter was going over some flash cards. Marlene and Sirius were talking in hushed tones. Next a bunch of Hufflepuffs and then some Ravenclaws arrived.

Lily saw James across the hallway making his way through the crowd, hand raised in greeting. Lily put her book away officially distracted. Sure he had made her mad at breakfast but that had been him and Sirius together. James on his own was...distracting. Like the fact that as soon as he saw her across the sea of people in the hall his face lit up in an incredibly distracting smile and held up his hand to indicate he was coming. She turned to say some half thought about him to Marlene when her gaze locked with Sev's. He stood across the hall from her. Like every time before that Lily felt her stomach drop. James finally made it through the mob and came to stop when he saw Lily and Sev's staring contest.

James stepped forward, drawing Sev's eyes to him. "Back off, Snivellus."

"He isn't doing anything Potter." Bartemius Crouch Jr. came out of the classroom in front of the other fifth years, flanked by the Carrows. He approached James with a sneer.

"Not yet at least." Snape replied, his black eyes flicking back to Lily.

Everything about the situation felt wrong. Crouch rarely spoke to anyone, even his fellow Slytherins. Sev had chosen the same path as the Carrow's and Crouch but they were rarely seen together.

"Besides," Crouch was still talking. "He wouldn't want to cross the Head Boy now would he?"

Amycus and Alecto all laughed as if Crouch had told particularly good joke.

"He's too chicken." Crouch speaking at Sev. "But I wouldn't find it so very hard to achieve."

Crouch looked from James to Lily. His eyes burned with a fire that Lily could only call insanity. Crouch would have said more but the door opened and Slughorn called them the seventh years into the classroom. The air didn't clear even though Crouch and the Carrows were gone. It stayed thick through class, through lunch, and even carried into Transfiguration class.

"He's gives me the creeps." Lily confessed as they left class, passing Crouch and his cronies lounging about waiting for their class to begin.

James smiled down at her. "That could be their band name. Don't let him get to you. Come to our quidditch practice and get your mind off creepy people."

Lily nodded. "James...?"

She was going to ask him if he remembered kissing her but as soon as she realised that was her intention Lily wanted to keep those words inside.

"Lily?" James mimicked her.

"Who are you all playing next?" Lily said, rather too fast but felt it was a good cover for her almost slip-up.

"Slytherin, on Saturday."

Lily just nodded and walked in silence towards the pitch with James. She felt her face was hot and not wanting James to mention anything about it she tried to come up with other things to say.

"That'll be interesting, always is, when Slytherin and Gryffindor meet up on the pitch. Rivals and all that, you know? Of course you do, you're the captain. You know better than anyone the stakes of a single game against Slytherin let alone the first game of the second semester of our seventh year." She was out of breath and James was staring at her.

James, holding open the door for her, seemed to be laughing at her. "Are you going to try and be a sportscaster Lily?"

Lily shook her head. "No why? Oh because I am rambling. I ramble when I'm nervous."

James frowned slightly but was still laughing. "I make you nervous..."

Lily swallowed and looked up at him. Damn him for being so tall. "No, well, but...well, yeah."

James just shook his head. "I think fresh air will do you some good."

_January 20, 1979_

Saturday meant Quidditch. Quidditch was a way of life. It was how James breathed when the intensity of life threatened to drive him mad. And it was on days like this one: a cold, clear January day, when the air was biting to breathe in and the competition prime, that James thrived. He pulled on his goggles as he jogged onto the pitch with his team. Sirius was playing beater because Thompson, the normal third year player, had transfigured himself into a half-hippogriff-half-teapot yesterday. He picked out Remus, Peter, Marlene and Lily out in the stands. All of them had their faces painted red and gold.

This was only the second time Gryffindor was facing Slytherin that year. James surveyed the collection of Pureblood morons and near Death Eaters. Crouch, their captain, was glaring at him. He'd been creepy all week. James brushed his hair out of his face and gritted his teeth. On land he felt helpless to show people what he thought of them. In the air, he was a master.

"Let's give em hell." Sirius saluted him with his bat.

James saluted back. The whistle was blown and they were in the air. James could hear the announcer and couldn't see the crowd. He smelt snow, sweat, and leather. He saw Dearborn, Vance, Black, Noorland, Bard and Wood. He heard the whip of the ball and crack of the bat. He felt the wood of the broom, the texture of the Quaffle and the pull of the wind. His body ached and his mind whirled until he tasted victory. They won, just barely, 200 to 80.

As soon as the teams landed the celebrations began. The entire Gryffindor house came onto the pitch cheering, back slapping and hugging. James smiled and let his tension ease. That had been just as it should be.

"Potter!" Crouch grabbed his hand and leaned in close to whisper. "You won't always win."

James backed away from the Slytherin to look him in the eye. Cold hazel met fevered brown. "So says you."

Crouch grinned and then stalked off the Carrows and Black behind him.

"What did he want?" Remus came to stand next to James.

"To threaten me. I'll mention it to Dumbledore when we meet with him." James turned to the mob behind them. "For now, we are young and have won. Let's party."

Lily scowled at her Marlene's back as her friend wrapped her arms around Sirius. She didn't see what the big deal was, but Marlene had obviously found his performance so incredible that he deserved a thorough snogging.

"Care to walk back to the castle with me?"

Lily looked up. It was Potter. Not James, Potter. If she thought of him as Potter then she could keep him at a distance. She looked away.

Potter spoke again. "I mean, if you want to wait for MK feel free, but it looks like they're going to be a while."

Lily grimaced slightly as Sirius hand trailed down Marlene's back to grip her arse. They get it easy. They don't have to ignore kisses and second guess intentions.

"Ugh, yeah, I'm not waiting around." She turned to walk back to the castle, James -no, Potter remember, keep him at a distance she mentally scolded herself - walked beside her. She wanted to snap at him for stalking her but they were on their way to the same place, so she really shouldn't complain.

"Good game by the way." She snickered a bit, remembering her ranting before the practice she had watched on Monday.

"Thanks." Potter replied, laughing lightly too at the same memory. Then he got serious. "But we're going to have to do better if we want to win against Hufflepuff next though. They're team is fantastic this year. I'd trade my hair to get my hands on their Keeper."

Lily snorted, Hufflepuff's Keeper was a tall busty blonde. "I'll bet you would."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Potter asked, confused.

"Nothing." Lily replied too quickly. "I mean, Kat's a great Keeper. Everyone can see she handles balls well." Lily winced imperceptibly, that innuendo was accidental. Why I am being so mean? Kat's nice and the rumor's about Potter's sex life were just that, rumors. He isn't the womanizer the gossip mills made him out to be.

They walked in silence as they reached the castle. James reached forward to open the door just as it came flying open.

It was Snape, who stopped, then realized who was blocking his way and narrowed his eyes. Lily's stomach dropped and she stepped closer to James instinctively. Snape walked between them, bumping her shoulder vindictively.

Potter looked livid but Lily took a deep breath and walked indoors.

"How does that prick not bother you?" Potter demanded.

Lily shrugged and kept walking. Potter continued to walk beside her. Lily's thoughts wandered to her ex-best friend. She found her mind going down the same path it had so many times since fifth year exams. They had sworn to be friends forever, she had liked to think about them in the future, at each other's weddings, living side by side with their kids growing up as best friends. But he had thrown that away way when he decided power and powerful friends were more important than his friendship with her. After that every time she saw him it was a battle not to cry or throw up for reasons she didn't want to ponder.

"To tell the truth," Lily found herself murmuring. "I miss him."

She heard James inhale sharply but was glad that he didn't say anything.

Lily blinked. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She stopped walking and turned to face James. Since the New Year and her decision to join the Order when Lily had run into Sev, assessed her feelings she'd found that her stomach didn't drop as low nor her heart ache as much. He was more like a bad taste in her mouth.

"Actually." She said much louder, louder than was necessary, loud enough to be told off for. "That's a lie. I don't miss him. I don't miss him at all." She stopped and grabbed Potter's arm. She looked at him. "Does that make me a bad person?"

She laughed at herself for asking him but he was the only person around.

James chuckled darkly. "No, Evans, you are not a bad person for not missing Snivellus the creepy-ass Death Eater who doesn't give a fuck about who he hurts as long as he's serving his precious Dark Lord."

Lily stared at the floor and nodded, thinking. "You wanted to know how he doesn't bother me. Well, everytime I see him, I just... well... I hope it gives him hell."

"What?"

"I hope he looks at me and it tears his heart to see that I'm doing damn fine without him and that I am so much happier than he ever will be. Because I chose the right path and he chose the wrong one and that betrayal hurt me! So I guess," Lily had the grace to look bashful "I guess I hope that in the end, he suffers more than me, because, you know, he made the wrong the choice. Merlin, I'm such a horrible person! I shouldn't wish evil on anyone, especially someone I used to be best friends with."

This time Potter's chuckle was joyful. "Evans, you are not a horrible person. You are fantastic. Remind me never to get on your bad side though."

Lily sniffed and continued her trek to the common room. "You're already on my bad side, Potter."

"No I'm not." Potter replied smugly.

"No you're not." Lily admitted. "But if you somehow manage to smuggle Firewhisky into the victory party and get a third year drunk again you will be. And I will show no mercy."

Potter rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Besides, you know that getting that third year drunk was Sirius' fault anyway. I merely laughed along with everyone else."

"Hector wasn't laughing!"

"Was that the kid's name? And he was too laughing. Besides, you put him to rights, sent him to bed and gave Sirius detention, no harm done. And little Hector had a good story to impress his mates with and that earned him his first snog so, I'd say, it was a win-win situation. Honestly, with a name like Hector, he probably wouldn't have gotten a snog until he was thirty without our help. You should be thanking us for aiding a young boy on his path to manhood."

Lily had no response to this so she simply tossed her hair in what she hoped was an disdainful manner and entered the common room. More and more she was finding that she couldn't make a decent comeback to Potter's mock-logic that excused his horrid behavior and it was beginning to bother her.

"You are coming to the party though, right Evans?" Potter asked. "After all, someone's got to keep us reined in."

"I'll think about it." Lily replied curtly and made to leave and go to the heads dorm. Her thoughts continued to drift. Potter, Sev, Quidditch, Partying, Kissing, James, New Years, Kissing James.

"James!" She turned back when she got to the portrait hole. There weren't a lot of people in the common room yet but he was across the room and some of them were watching their exchange. She wanted to ask him about the kiss but what came out was very different. "Aren't you going to change out of your gear?"

James looked her up and down, making her inside squish. "You're not going to wash the paint of your face."

Lily shook her head. They stared too long. James pulled a hand through his hair. Lily cracked her knuckles. People pushed past Lily bringing the noise of the pitch into the common room. The victory party started around them and still they stood staring. Silence stretched out between them thick as taffy. And then she knew. She knew that he remembered the kiss. And she knew he knew she knew.

Then Lily looked away and left the room. She wouldn't be able figure this out in a crowd, she hadn't even been able to figure it out in solitude.

James watched her go. Suddenly his gear was suffocating him. He slipped out of the common room and headed back to the lockers. He didn't feel like celebrating anymore. He should have told her right then. He should have yelled it at the top of his lungs. Yes, he had kissed her. No, it had not been just because he was drunk. Yes, he wanted to do it again. Like forever. He knew she knew he remembered but he still should have said it.

Once out of the common room he saw Lily walking down the hall and was about to take after her when he saw Thrace was with her. That was why he had said nothing. Saying it meant facing consequences. He was James Potter and she didn't like him in that way. She'd laugh in his face or slap him. Neither one he found desirable.

He took off at a run until he got to the locker room. Everyone was gone and he took out all his rage and confusion out by throwing his gear, kicking over the bench, punching the lockers. He torn off his jersey and jumped in the shower keeping the water freezing cold despite it being January. He muttered to himself and grumbled as he changed into clean jeans and tshirt. He finally decided he would go up to the party and get pissed and forget all about this.

He was sure that she would ask Thrace out. And then that would be it. Thrace, with his purist leanings but Ravenclaw smarts, would date her. He would get her to permanently let go of her family and muggle ways. He would get her to wear robes and attend banquets. She would get sucked in because the bastard was as conniving as he was handsome.

His mirror buzzed and Sirius' face appeared. "Where are you Prongs? Get up here!" James nodded but mostly ignored his best mate.

It would be ok. He could find another Lily, right? He'd find somebody else. Or maybe he'd die during the war. Maybe he was never meant to live. Maybe the Potter name stopped here.

Maybe nothing.

James went to go find her. He didn't have to look far. She was in the hallway outside the lockers.

He spoke from lack of thought "Sirius says the party is in full swing. You should go back..."

She kissed him.

He thought maybe it tasted like goodbye. But he didn't care and poured everything he could into it, holding her face, tasting her lips. They came up for air.

Lily looked even more beautiful that close up. "I'd rather be here with you."

And it was true.

He kissed her again. "God, you taste so good."

Lily laughed. "So do you."

They kissed again.

"I actually didn't mean to do that." Lily whispered. He had moved so he was leaning into her, invading her space in a wonderful and thrilling new way.

He pressed his forehead against hers. "And yet you did it."

Lily nodded. "So what does that mean?"

James shrugged and then stepping back he grinned almost foolishly. "Lily, will you go out with me?"

Lily swallowed. The thing was she remembered EVERY SINGLE TIME she'd told him no. Even now, when they were quasi-friends because they had the same friends Lily had still told him no. Because they fought and yelled and slammed doors.

Then he had kissed her and she had liked it. And now she had kissed him and liked it even more. But still she felt she should say no. It was NEVER EVER EVER going to work. She had been raised to say 'never say never'...but with James life was different. Right? She had tried to stand firm. But just looking at him, hearing his laugh, watching him fly, even doing homework together made her want to say...

"Yes." She whispered.

James whooped in triumph and spun her in circles. Then they kissed some more. Finally Lily broke off and laughing told him. "Come on captain, your team will want to celebrate your victory."

"Which one?" James put his arm around her waist and walked with her back to the common room.

Part of Lily was content to spend the rest of the night just exploring this kind of reckless, totally new experience with James Potter. Another part knew people would come looking for them and she didn't want it to look like she was hiding this.

"Thrace tried walking me back to my dorm." It was out of her mouth before she could stop.

James looked down at her. "Do we have to talk about him?"

Lily punched gently him in the side. "I was talking to him and he was being 'flirty' like always, only this time I realized the only person I like flirting with is you."

James laughed. "Is that what you call our interactions?"

Lily stopped walking she was laughing so hard. She and James stood in the hallway, not even halfway back to the common room and laughed, remembering that their interactions could hardly be called "flirting" and letting their laughter ring off the walls.

"Shhh..." Lily placed a finger to her lips trying to contain her laughter. "We don't want to get caught."

"Doing what? It's not even past curfew." James, hand against the wall and the other bracing on his knees as he tried to breath.

Lily held her sides and tipped her head back to let out another peal of laughter. She watched James try to regain his capacity to talk and breath without laughing halfway through. Every time their eyes met they burst into laughter all over again.

James, standing up and breathing deep. "We should get to the common room."

Lily nodded and started off, still giggling a bit. A hand slipped into hers, rough from handling wood but firm and strong. James grinned at her and they took off down the hall at a breakneck speed. They skidded to a stop in front of the Fat Lady.

"Incipiens." James called out the password.

She smiled as she opened, the music and chatter of a really good victory party tumbling forth.

Lily didn't think about entering hand in hand with James. She didn't think about dancing with him. She didn't think about kissing him while they danced. She didn't really even think. She just walked in holding his hand, danced with him, kissed him, cheered him when the crowd did and clinked glasses with him after every toast.

The music was all "wizard funk" as Lily called it but for once she didn't miss Springsteen or Blondie or the Kinks. She just enjoyed herself. After a time the party began to dwindle and the Marauders, herself and Marlene went to the Heads dorm.

All of them were exhausted.

James led the way, arm draped over Lily. "But I have some pepper up potion in my room. We can take that so there won't be any hangovers tomorrow."

"Fess up Prongs..."

James frowned at Remus. "Moony, make yourself more clear."

Remus indicated to Lily, comfortable under James' arm, and raised an eyebrow. James looked at Lily and both burst into laughs.

"I didn't hex her is that's what you're thinking."

"And he didn't drug me. We just kind of decided that this made sense."

Sirius whooped loud before Remus elbowed him in the gut. Marlene grabbed Lily and hugged her.

"Well, this is unexpected." Peter commented dryly slapping James on the shoulder.

"Tell me about it." James replied.

The rest of the night passed with little else on anyones mind.

_January 31, 1979_

Remus checked his pocket watch. 2:45 pm. He had five minutes get to the Headmaster's office. The password was Licorice. Loping off through the halls, long legs devouring the distance swiftly, Remus' thoughts were intent. This was the moment. His first meeting on the Order of the Phoenix. He had talked it over with him Mum over Holidays.

He smiled when he remembered the diatribe she'd gone on when he had brought it up.

"Remus, you can't give me your excuses. You are a talented wizard, an asset to the Order. Anyone with two eyes and a brain can see that."

She had been making dinner but stopped, arms a kimbo, to stare at him and rant about his grades and ability and everything. It hadn't been the talking that had convinced him. It had been the quiet afterward, when she had turned back to her dinner preparations. She was a tall woman, blonde like him but with dark brown eyes. He knew as soon as she started to hum while she worked that he would do whatever he could to make her proud.

So he had told Dumbledore as soon as he got to school that he wanted to start working for the Order. There was a meeting tonight in the Headmasters office. He was nervous, anxious and thrilled. He came to a stop at the statue behind which was the staircase up to the Headmasters office. Padfoot, Remus often referred to Sirius by his other name, was standing there watching James come down the hall with Peter.

"Mates." Remus nodded in greeting.

The others responded in kind.

"So we're going to do this together too?" Peter asked as he and James approached.

Padfoot grinned. "As is fitting. Can't you see the entry in the history books?

"The Marauders joined the Order of the Pheonix together becoming official brothers in arms on January 31, 1979. It was the beginning of the end for the Dark Lord. It became a national wizarding holiday and day former Death Eaters, if they still lived past the war, feared to remember.'" He finished with a flourish of his hand and a declaration of the password, Licorice.

As the gargoyle stepped aside it muttered under it's breathe. "Someone's got a flair for the dramatic."

Remus, James and Peter snickered but Padfoot ignored the stone beast walking in front of the others up the stairs to the office.

James was next adding to the gargoyle's remarks "Padsy, you will never write our history...it'd end up being a comedy."

Peter bounded after the other two, his shorter stride hampering him slightly. "I have to go with Prongs on that."

Padfoot shot a glare over his shoulder. "You always side with Prongs, Wormy. Just as Moony always sides with me."

Remus, content to linger in the rear of the group and observe, shook his head. "Not this time, mate. You make us sound like saviors."

Padfoot stopped and blocked the staircase. "You would get a lecture about that except it would make us intolerably late."

Remus grinned at his Padfoot's attempt to look scholarly and walked forward to brush past him. "Thank Merlin, you abhor tardiness."

Padfoot all but growled at him. Remus laughed, it was low moon tonight and the wolf was quite asleep, but with Sirius the dog was always just below the surface.

They had arrived that the top of the stairs. James came forward to knock, as the defacto leader. Remus preferred to watch than to instigate.

"Come!" Dumbledore's voice echoed into the staircase and in the four blokes went.

Compared to Sirius or James Remus was rarely in the Headmaster's office. Sure once a year for a quick word on his condition, twice of so a month to vouch for James or Sirius, several times in the course of his school life with the other three for a general reminder to not over do it with the pranks. He knew the office well by now, being a 7th year. He did not have the comfort that James did, the aversion of Sirius or the continued awe of Peter.

Dumbledore had conjured his desk into a table in the center of the room. Of those gathered there were several individuals Remus knew by name and sight but had not associated with such as Alastor Moody, Dorcas Meadowes, Dedalus Diggle and Edgar Bones. There were others he knew much better like the Prewitts, the Longbottoms, Prof. Fenwick and McGonagall, and Caradoc Dearborn, looking like an older version of Liam. Finally there were several people he was surprised to see namely, Emmy, Lily and Marlene who had never mentioned belonging to the Order.

Remus nudged Sirius but the latter had already seen the girls. Seeing that everyone was still socializing at this point and that Dumbledore seemed in a private conference with Moody and McGonagall the blokes approached the girls.

"You never mentioned..." James began, slipping an arm around Lily's waist. Remus still smirked at the displays of affection that the two lovebirds displayed. It was about time they figured it out.

Lily cut James off. "Neither did you."

"I didn't want to influence you one way or another."

"Me either." Lily leaned into him and smiled. "I decided over Christmas hols."

James kissed her forehead. "Me too."

Sirius and Marlene's confrontation was more brutal.

Padfoot started off in a completely unacceptable manner. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Attending my regular meeting." Marlene glared at Sirius and then went back to examining her nails.

Sirius growled as much as he had in the hallway. "Regular? How long have you been a member?"

Marlene looked at him, fire in her blue eyes. "Since the beginning."

They exchanged death glares for a bit longer until Dumbledore called the room to order.

"As you can see, we have some new members with us today. Messr. Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin along with Miss Evans have finally chosen to take their seats here at the table. As a first order of business let's welcome them."

Remus wanted to laugh at the shaking of hands and exchanges of greetings but he saw the significance. He watched Moody, his small, dark, incredibly attentive eyes assesed his scars. Remus reached out a hand to firmly shake the old warrior's. He watched the Prewitts and Longbottoms laughing embrace James and Lily chiding them on the fact that they were holding hands. He saw Dorcas' wary look at Sirius and his bold return of the look. He watched Mr. Dearborn greet Peter and ask him how school was as any Father of a classmate would and heard Peter's awkward reply.

He saw the pride in Benjy and Mcgonagall's faces at knowing their finest students had finally made this step. The introductions ended when several more people entered the office.

"Sorry we're late." A thick set man, heavily marked with pox scars and wearing a tri-corner hat came in followed by another bloke, younger and thinner with blonde hair and a prominent jaw. "But you'll all be happy to hear that it went off without a hitch."

Remus leaned closer to hear Dorcas' reply when Sirius asked her who were they and what went off without a hitch.

"That's Elphias Doge, old friend of Dumbledore's and his sidekick Podmore, well Sturgis is his first name but we all him Podmore. They were setting up tripwires at one of our safe houses so we can move the Shacklebolt family in over the weekend. They'll give a full report of it during the meeting if you've half an ear to listen Black."

Remus came to the conclusion that Dorcas was as no nonsense as she looked. Tall and wiry she looked like how Remus had imagined Cleopatra in his childhood. Her skin as black as her eyes and dreadlocked hair. Her stance was bold and unrelenting. Her robes lending her an air of regality but her face said she was all common sense and humanity. Remus liked her immediately despite her obvious distrust of Sirius. Then again Sirius seemed at ease with her constant assessment of him so Remus couldn't find it in himself to disapprove of her.

Everyone was taking their seats. Remus sat to Sirius' right and Marlene's left. Remus, in the past year noticed that whenever his friends assembled they always arranged themselves in the same way. James at the middle, Sirius to his left, Lily to his right. Remus stood to Sirius' right and then came Marlene. Peter stood on the other side of Lily. That was how they sat now, with the addition of Emmy Vance at Peter's other side. Across from them sat senior members of the order: Dumbledore at the center, Moody to his left, McGonagall to his right. Then next to Moody was Benjy Fenwick and next to him was Dorcas Meadowes. Next to McGonagall was Elphias Doge and his "sidekick" Podmore. The Prewitts, the Longbottoms, Mr. Bones and Mr. Dearborn sat on the ends of the table, almost as unbiased spectators to the interchange of ideas happening at the center of the table.

Remus respected Dumbledore immensely. The Headmaster had allowed him to study at the school when many others would have shunned him or even killed him. He knew that James, Sirius and even Lily did not feel as indebted to Dumbledore as he did. They acknowledged the Headmaster's right to lead as a wiser, much older, more experienced wizard but they didn't not see him as infallible as Remus sometimes did. Peter and Marlene didn't give two figs about Dumbledore. They did as they wished for those they cared about, James and Sirius respectively. The fact that Marlene had joined the Order from it's beginning was proof that she did as she pleased. Peter was only there because of James was but Remus didn't fault him for it.

The meeting itself wasn't all that impressive, not that Remus expected some life altering revelations to be shared. Reports were given. Problems discussed. Tasks divvied up. In short his side of the room mostly listened to the other side talk. That was until the very end.

"Elphias, I want you to take Messr. Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew with you when you move the Shacklebolt family this coming weekend."

Elphias nodded. Podmore frowned and was about to speak when Dumbledore cut him off.

"Of course you shall go as well, Podmore. Now if there is nothing else to be said I have some paperwork to see to. Can you see yourselves out?"

Everyone nodded and headed down the staircase. Introductions were continued as they left the office.

"You're a werewolf." Moody, gripping Remus by the shoulder and holding him back, spoke with a gruff Scottish accent. "I'm glad of it. You'll be needed when the time comes. Stay sharp and be ready for action."

Remus grinned at the Auror, his heart swelling at the tone of confidence in other voice. "Thank you sir. I plan on it."


	6. People Like Us

People Like Us

VI

_February 1, 1979_

Marlene, sitting on her bed alone in the dorm, painting her toe nails and singing lightly to herself. She had to admit, she was proud of Sirius. It had been 24 hours, they had made it through an entire day of school and he had not spontaneously combusted. She heard barking outside, blew gently on her toes and hobbled over to look out the window. She knew what she would see. A large, black dog stood on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. She waved at him and then drying her varnish with a wave of her wand Marlene slipped on clogs to go meet him. She braced herself for the confrontation she knew was coming.

She met Sirius out by Hagrid's hut. He was smoking, leaning on a tree. As she approached he reached out a hand to her. She took it and, careful to not let her skirt trail in the dirt, followed him into the Forest. Here, just on the edge was not dangerous but it was private. They came to "their" pine tree and Sirius pulled out a blanket for the ground. He sat and Marlene collapsed next to him to lean into him, her head on his shoulders, their legs sprawling in front of them and intertwined. His arms held her firm and she played with his unoccupied hand and watched the sunlight filter through the pine needles and dance on the ground. It was abnormally warm for February in Scotland but Marlene wasn't complaining.

Sirius flicked out his cigarette and Marlene took both his hands in hers. They remained still like for a moment before finally Sirius spoke up.

"What the fuck Marlene?"

Marlene rubbed his palm with her thumb. "How can you acted surprised? You know me better than anyone..."

"I know you very well." He kissed her forehead. "And I know how hard it is for you to even walk some days..."

Marlene cut him off, furious she stood and stared down at him. "Don't talk to me like I don't understand my condition!"

Sirius just looked up at her. His grey eyes were burning and his smile fierce. Marlene locked her jaw and folded her arms, hip cocked.

"So you have been helping the Order since last year?"

"Since the end of fifth year. I joined as soon as I knew about the tumor."

His look eased and he sat up. "Explain to me why."

Marlene sat down, legs folded under her and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. "Because if I am going to die I deserve to live first."

He moved forward and captured her lips in a fierce kiss. "But you do live."

Marlene leaned away from him and frowned. "But I could live more."

Sirius laughed then, full in her face. "You live more than anyone I know. You don't have to prove..."

Rancor at his laughter rose in her veins. He always treated the subject of her death too lightly. She slapped him. A responding smack sounding through the woods and making everything afterward feel much more still. Sirius assessed her coolly. He got up from the blanket and started to walk back to the school. Marlene watched him go sitting still on the forest floor. Her heart broke more with each step he took. She watched him go until he was out of sight. She felt the tears and pulling her legs up to her chest she let herself cry.

That could have gone better. She dragged herself to her feet and headed off for the school herself. You should not have lost your temper. You should have listened and not judged. What kind of moron are you?

Passing through the archways into the courtyard she shivered as a stiff wind that picked up and yanked her coat more firmly around her shoulders. She saw Remus before he saw her. He sat playing his guitar in an alcove out of the wind.

Marlene sat next to him and sighed. "Aren't your fingers frozen?"

Remus shook his head and kept at his playing. She recognized it as an old Elvis Presley single, Burning Love. "Gloves and warming charms."

"We fought and I slapped him."

Remus stopped playing and looked at her. "Well, that's new."

"He was trying to get me to..."

Remus started playing again. "What?"

Marlene paused and stared at Remus, not really seeing him. "I actually, legitimately have no idea what he was trying to say."

"But you slapped him."

Marlene refused to meet his eyes, gnawing her lip. "Yeah."

Remus looked at her. His honey colored eyes were incredulous. "The two of you have the most fucked up relationship of anyone I know."

Marlene sighed. "I know. But he laughed at me."

Remus sighed, slung his guitar over his shoulder as he stood. He scratched the side on his face, where his sideburns were growing almost unruly.

"I don't know what to tell you."

Marlene nodded. "I don't know what to say either. I didn't... I don't... normally do shit like that."

They started walking back to the school. After a bit Remus spoke up. "He'll forgive you before the day is out."

Marlene nodded slipping her pocket watch out. "I certainly hope so. Dinner will be over soon, let's pick up the pace Moony."

Lily was talking to Peter, her hands moving as fast as her mouth. James leaned back in his chair, an arm around Lily's waist, picking at his meatloaf, a content smile on his lips. Remus sat next to Peter and began serving himself. James caught her eyes and with a flick of his head communicated that Sirius had come and gone. She ate quickly and went to go find him. The astronomy tower was the most likely spot. He loved to stargaze and on such a clear night, when the sky invited you to try and touch the milky way, he was sure to be out.

She arrive at the top of the staircase, out of breath and hips aching. She sat at his side without a word. He wasn't smoking. The moon, barely a sliver, shone clear over the forest top, and lit up his profile. She had never met his family. The McKinnons were not related to the Blacks. But it was said Sirius was held as the pinnacle of the Black heritage. His face was open and well proportioned, his jaw defined, his nose roman, his eyes bright grey, his hair a veritable mane, his lips kissable. Marlene refused for so many years to look at him with eyes of a lover that she believed she could say in unbiased honestly that he was a damn gorgeous bloke.

It was in these moments of silent repose and depth of thought that she saw behind the mask of ennui and mischief. Outwards he was desirable. Inwards he was irresistible.

She leaned against him. Speaking felt like a horrendous violation so Marlene didn't bring her voice above a whisper.

"Do you even remember last year? When I found out I was dying and everyone started treating me different? Nothing big, but still. Professor Flitwick would give me those small, sad-eyed smiles. I'd get an E on a Defense test when I barely deserved an A. 'Hey, watch where you're going' became 'Oh, sorry for bumping you.' Second years would point me out to Firsties. Then there was the blocks of Honeydukes everywhere. That I loved, finding chocolate on my bed, desk, in my school bag and even sent via school owl. I haven't the foggiest how the whole school knew. But they did. And that was that. And you know what? At the end of the day only two people didn't treat me differently: McGonagall, who said I could be the Order's secretary," here she took a breath and turned to look at him, "And you."

Sirius was looking at her from the corner of her eyes. When he spoke it was forceful and too loud, as if he would lose his ability to communicate if he didn't. "She used to slap us. I don't even remember why but she did."

Marlene swallowed and hatred for Walburga Black raged in her chest like a lion seeking escape. Actions and words were linked to memories, like how whenever someone called her "babe" she flinched.

Sirius now turned to look her full in the face. "MK, you are the most alive person I have ever known."

She nodded. His look paralyzed her. Her bones ached and she knew she would not be able to walk back down the stairs if she stayed there much longer. But she stayed. Sirius assessed her with honesty and affection. She returned the look with one of honesty and understanding.

"Can I carry you to the dorms?"

Marlene nodded and resting in Sirius' strong arms she was happy to think that something good had come from her dying.

It's like carrying air. Sirius adjusted his grip on Marlene as he came to the end of the Astronomy tower stairs. He held her bridal style, her head on his shoulder. Her breaths were shallow as always. He wondered if the tumors had reached her ribs yet.

He could feel her heartbeat through that fragile cage, a small bird begging to be set free. Xeno's leaves had helped. It was a miracle but it was true. It took the edge off the pain and soothed the nausea. But the cancer would still spread.

"Will you come to the dorm?" He whispered.

Marlene's eyes were closed and was probably counting his heartbeats. "Sure. Will the others be there?"

Sirius attempted to shrug and not jostle her. "I just want to hold you."

Marlene shifted the grip of her arms and nodded, making his shirt wrinkle and warming his chest. After what had been a fucked up day it look like he was going to have a fine night.

"Sirius?"

"Yes duck?"

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." And he did and had even as he had walked up to the school earlier. It wasn't her fault that moment had scared him. He had fled in fear of how he would react if he stayed. She has enough baggage of her own. He had told himself. She doesn't need yours.

They passed through the portrait hole. Wormtail was studying. Liam was playing chess with Moony. Flower sat next to Moony, scribbling in her journal.

"And Prongs?"

Lily looked up, worry creased her face when she saw that Sirius was carrying Marlene, and she made to stand.

Sirius just shook his head. "She was just too tired to walk. We're going up to bed."

Lily sat back down. She set down her pen and cracked her knuckles. "James isn't up there. I haven't seen him since dinner. I assume you haven't either."

Sirius shook his head. "Sorry flower."

Lily shrugged and let them go. She smiled as they disappeared, they had made up. They needed each other. Like she needed James. Only James was not around.

_February 3, 1979_

James turned the page of his book and shifted against the wood of the bench. Doge and Podmore seemed to be taking their sweet time. He glanced to where Peter stood leaning against a light post feeding pigeons and then to Remus, sitting farther in the park, playing his guitar and collecting money. They had done this routine before either when they needed money or had to corner someone.

Sirius found a perfectly legal way to get the majority of the foot traffic in a certain area to flow in one direction. He would simply sit, with a cardboard sign, dressed like a bum and everyone would follow the detour to avoid him. Once down the path they were entertained and distracted by Remus' amazing guitar skills. Then anyone who "had" to keep moving passed between Peter and James. Today they were using it to make sure that the moving of the Shacklebolt family wasn't compromised.

So far James had seen more than his share of muggles, several wizards he felt he should know, and no threats. He turned another page of the book he wasn't reading and tried to stay focused. This was hard because a) the objective of this stakeout was as boring as History of Magic and b) he was supposed to be on his first official 'Take Evans to Hogsmeade' weekend. She was hemming and hawing over their relationship and James had the perfect way to put her perfectly at ease. He just had to survive this stakeout.

Peter moved and caught his attention. He used the hand language they had invented in first year to warn James about one of the people approaching him. He looked around and immediately saw who Peter was worried about. Lucius Malfoy.

The eight years between meant they had only been at school together for but James knew Malfoy on sight. Tall, thin, blonde and with a bombastic air about him Lucius Malfoy was to Arthur Weasley what Crouch was to James. A sworn enemy and a pain in the ass.

...

Meanwhile, at Hogsmeade village, Marlene stood, Lily at her side, staring at Holly. "Are you really that shallow?"

Their blonde Gryffindor dorm mate frowned. "Marlene Kaylee McKinnon how can you say that? That is hurtful. You know him..."

Marlene raised her hand. "No, I don't. I didn't."

Holly looked so confused and Marlene would have pitied her if they had not been talking about this.

"Holly I don't know where the hell you lived during the entire damn fifth year but I don't give a flying fuck about John ..."

Holly had the common sense not to be phased by Marlene's sailor tongue.

"He's just so insistent and so hot and I can't tell if he really likes me or..."

Marlene growled. "I am not shitting you Holly. If you don't shut the fuck up I am going to bitch slap you into next month."

Holly just nodded. "I just thought..."

Marlene snapped. "You thought wrong."

Then she walked away. She needed a stiff drink and a smoke. Lily fell into step next to her and took a moment before talking.

"Am I the only one in awe of Holly's lack of brains? It's bloody weird that she asked you if it was ok that she date John and wanted you to come along to smooth the transition."

Marlene just nodded. "I need a drink."

They headed to the Hog's Head instead of the Three Broomsticks, as was their habit. Aberforth had Lily's stash of muggle liquor and mixing tools. MK made the best Margaritas. James had mastered the Bloody Mary. Lily made a thing called a Sonic Screwdriver but also a mean White Russian. Then there was Remus who was their true Mixologist. But right now all they really wanted was gin and tonic. They greeted Aberforth with hugs and smiles, mixed their drinks and collapsed in a booth by the window to look out at the snow.

...

It wasn't snowing in London, nor was it wet. Malfoy, who luckily hadn't noticed James or Peter yet, stood fiddling with his umbrella. James signaled to Peter to go get Sirius. James kept his eyes on Malfoy and followed the older wizard when he crossed the street knowing that Remus would hang back and keep out an eye for any other threats. James was cautious, years of sneaking around under his cloak, payed off when it came to sneaking after possibly dangerous wizards. James tried to not get hit by cars as he crossed the street and entered the gloomy back alley behind Malfoy. The sun didn't penetrate between the close set buildings and trash was strewn on the ground. James slipped his wand from his sleeve as he stepped behind a trash bin.

Malfoy peered over his shoulder. James pressed into the shadows. There were two sharp cracks and then standing with Malfoy were two wizards dressed in long cloaks and masks. Malfoy himself conjured a mask and cloak. They couldn't see him and they appeared to be waiting for something.

"It is in our job description to neutralize threats right?"

James hadn't really noticed when his breathing had become doubled but Sirius' silent appearance did not scare him. "They aren't officially a threat yet."

From one of the back doors came Doge and a tall, regal looking man. Malfoy shot a spell at them. Sirius grinned cheekily.

"Now they are mate." And he threw himself into the fray. James followed, taking advantage of the element of surprise. After a few minutes and a few well placed spells the man and the woman were unconscious and Malfoy was bound.

"What's this? Mere boys? Shouldn't you be at school?" He spat looking rather ugly with his lanky blonde hair hanging in his bloodshot blue eyes and dust from the street across his features.

James smirked. "Field trip?"

Doge had started to gather the rest of the Shacklebolt family, a mother, an older boy and three young girls, with the father. He smiled at the boys. "And you best get back."

"We just leave them?" Sirius scoffed.

Doge frowned. "Don't be anxious to become a murderer, boy. They've done nothing to us to deserve we take their lives. Now go, get to your Hogsmeade weekend. Podmore and I can handle it from here. We'll be seeing you around."

Podmore saluted them with his wand and them with a blast of light knocked Malfoy out.

James grabbed a disgruntled Sirius by the arm. Together they made their way out of the heavily trashed back alley and into the sunshine. Peter met them at the fountain with Remus.

"That was disappointing." Peter stated, picking at his nails.

James nodded. "I feel like it won't always be like this. Come on, I'll make Black Stuff at the Hogshead."

The other three nodded somewhat reluctantly. In truth James was relieved that their first mission had been that simple. He wanted to believe it would stay that way but the look Doge had when he had said 'murderer' stuck in his brain.

…

Lily saw him first. John entered the Hogshead in much as he always had, looking like he wanted to own the world. For some reason she had always compared him to Sirius though they looked nothing alike. Sirius was handsome, dark and brooding. John was cute, a blue-eyed blonde and lethal. But in her mind they stood side by side. The only difference was John wanted to own the world while Sirius acted like he already did.

"Marly, Lils, I was told you would be here."

His voice was like honey, sweet and liquid, filling up the space between them.

He smiled when Marlene turned to look at him. It was disarming how good he looked, how comfortable he acted. The smile, the walk, the open gestures screamed to her that he was friend.

But one look at Marlene's eyes told a different story.

He was her worst nightmare and biggest regret. Lily swallowed. John was to Marlene what Snape was to her except that John had also taken Marlene's virginity.

Marlene stood, facing him but keeping the distance between them. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I was around, I thought we could catch up." It was a perfectly legitimate request.

Her eyes flashed angrily. "Like hell. What gives a wanker like you the right to talk to me you little shit?"

John smirked a little but tried to cover it up by reaching out to touch Marlene's arm. "Hey, don't freak out babe..."

Marlene jerked back so he couldn't touch her. "Don't you dare touch me."

Lily stood at this point. She stepped forward to put herself between them. It felt silly, being so short, to act as a barrier but she didn't like the predatory gleam in his eye. Why any living being would enjoy making another person squirm she would never understand.

"John, you should go."

John turned on his most charming smile. "Lily, come on, I haven't see you two in over a year."

But Lily had resisted James Potter for years and John had nothing on him. There was no way his charm would wear her down. "Leave, John. We have no desire to see you."

There was a series of four pops. Lily knew who is was without looking.

It took only a beat and then Sirius tones sliced through the air. "John, you are lucky I don't have built up aggression...oh wait I do."

Then John had a bloody nose.

James spoke up, coming to stand by Lily and slipping an arm around her waist. It was still surprising but hardly unpleasant. "Go, before that is permanent."

They all stood still for a bit in the empty bar room after John made his hasty exit. Then James leaned down to kiss Lily's temple.

"What was that wastrel here for?"

Lily shrugged. "Either to be a moron or spying. I can't decide."

James nodded. "I promised Black Stuff to celebrate our first mission as successful. Care to help me brew the tea?"

Lily nodded. They walked hand in hand back into the back kitchen. Aberforth wasn't there but it didn't matter. Aberforth didn't care when they helped themselves to everything behind the counter. Lily lit the stove and set the kettle. James got the scotch and the creme. They move silently and in harmony. Lily's mind was elsewhere, watching James' shoulder muscles as he reached for glasses from the top shelf and recalling how it feels when those arms are around her waist.

It still felt surreal that she and James were together. James Potter. The silly first year. The obnoxious third year. The boorish fifth year. The boyfriend seventh year. "Do I have something on my back?"

Lily came out of her reverie to see James smiling at her over his shoulder. She had been right, John Selwyn had nothing on James Potter. She blushed and shook her head a bit. James reached out, placing his right hand on her hip and brought her close to him. "I missed you all day."

Lily tried to think but it was hard when she was this close to him. "Was the mission uneventful?"

James shrugged and ran his left hand through his hair, his right still holding her. "We had a spot of trouble but Padfoot and I took care of it."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Because you are both so skilled at magic."

James winked. "Spot on Lilyflower."

"Lilyflower? Geez Potter, I think I threw up a bit in my mouth."

The kettle whistled. James took it of the stove with a wave of his wand, still without letting go of her. "We must have terms of endearment."

Lily's mind spun away from her again. We're dating, dating people have affectionate names for each other.

"Where did you go Evans?" James' voice brought her back again. "A sickle for you thoughts?"

Lily stepped back from his embrace and ran her arms up and down her arms to dispel goosebumps. She busied herself manually pouring the hot water over the leaves and into the teapot. "I was just thinking."

James didn't look at her as he used magic to arrange the glasses, the black label scotch and the creme de menthe on a tray. When he did look up his hazel eyes caught and held her green ones.

"Evans, are you having second thoughts?" Sincerity without a lick of accusation or possessiveness. He looked at her with clean and pure affection. Lily looked away, shifted her weight and fiddled with the teapot lid. James sighed gently and took a step towards her.

"Evans, look at me, you dear, sweet girl." His hand brushed her chin and his hand resumed it's place on her hip, firm and applying the barest amount of pressure. "It's perfectly understandable. Not in my wildest dreams could I believe that you would want to be with me."

Lily brought up a hand to wipe the tears roughly from her face, it's nails bitten to stubs and neon pink varnish chipped.

James used his free hand to assist her, although more gently. "Hey, don't cry. Please."

Lily sniffed and laid her hands on his chest. "I'm sorry."

James pressed his lips to her forehead. He both heard and felt her breath hitch.

"It's just that I never took you seriously, James, and so I never really considered if you really wanted to be with me and really liked silly little me."

Remus' face appeared around the kitchen door. "I am sure I am interrupting something important but we'd like our drinks."

James and Lily laughed and allowed Remus to come in and take the tray. They followed him out and sat side by side and Lily leaned into James, his arm around her back. They sipped their "black stuff" and discussed school and the Order.

"Why was John here?" James asked.

Marlene shrugged. "But whatever the reason I am not happy to see him."

Sirius tipped back his glass and grinned mischievously at James. "Thanks for stopping me mate, I was ready to nail him to the wall."

It was getting dark. They were all a little tipsy from the scotch. Sirius still made Marlene ride on his back. Lily was content to stay warm under James' arm. He hadn't stopped touching her since they had talked in the kitchen. They took off towards Hogwarts, singing the school song at the top of their lungs as they went and aided by wand light. She hadn't answered his question. Not really. She wasn't having second thoughts either, only old doubts. She was bossy, nosy, and muggle-born. But James had liked her since forever and wanted to like her always.

They tramped into the school, now singing Row, Row, Row your boat in a three part round instigated by Peter. McGonagall just glared at them when she passed them in the hall but didn't dock points. They parted ways and the Head Boy and Girl did a quick set of rounds before heading to their dorms. Lily was shaking from the cold after having made snow angels on the grounds and not drying off before making the rounds. James' face was flush and his jeans were soaked from when Remus and Peter had tackled him on the way back. James undid her coat and she helped him out of his scarf.

They kissed, slowly and gently, then warmly and little desperately. Off came the jumpers and boots, socks and his trousers. And with them went Lily's inhibitions. This she could keep doing forever. James. He tasted like snow and smelt like the forest. His hands were steady against her back, tracing her spine. She shivered with the intensity of being drawn into him. His affection for her bled through his grip warming her veins and the fear that she had no idea what she was doing melted on her tongue when he kissed her. The ache that she was not enough mended itself. James loved her. She paused and he moved to her neck, nuzzling her and whispering against her skin.

"James do you love me?"

James stopped and brought his face so close to her she could feel his breath. "Yes."

Lily gripped his shirt in her fists. "I…"

"Don't need to saying anything." He finished for her.

"But this changes everything."

James opened his eyes and met hers. "Really?"

Lily nodded, moving both their heads. "I want to know you better."

James grinned. "Give it time."

Her grip tightened. "But…"

James cut her off again. "No, Lily, give it time. Just let me enjoy loving you."

"And give you nothing back?" She tried to step back but James didn't let her.

He practically growled and Lily looked up to see his eyes were narrow. "I don't need anything back Lily. Just being able to hold you whenever I want is enough."

Lily frowned but nodded. James pressed his lips to her in what was meant to be a brief kiss. Lily leaned in to keep contact for as long as possible. James smirked against her mouth and deepened the kiss. "So I take it we can stop talking now?"

Lily nodded and they resumed the previous activities.

_February 19, 1979_

Peter wasn't in Defense against the Dark Arts. That didn't mean he didn't go on every mission that the others went on or that he couldn't whip out a pretty nasty hex. It just meant that he hadn't gotten an O or an E on his OWLs so he wasn't in the one class that really mattered. Marlene wasn't in DADA either but with her condition that was understandable. Besides, she was top of the class in Advanced Arithmancy and Alchemy II. Peter knew he stood in the middle of the pack in all his classes. He only had five this year: Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures. He was not a brilliant wizard.

But he was a rat and those were useful to have around sometimes.

...

Benjy had covered everything. Remus knew he was missing nothing essential. And yet he wasn't satisfied. He had top marks in the class. He was at 78% with wandless magic and 84% with non-verbal. He could force James, Sirius and Peter out of their animagus form (not that they did that in class). So he was excited when Benjy announced they would be covering new subject matter.

"For the next weeks we'll go through battling non-human opponents. We'll be taking down trolls, giants, vampires, dementors and werewolves."

Remus sat up straight and cracked his neck.

Benjy continued. "It's essential that you know the strengths and weakness of each of these beings. They differ from humans like us immensely and from each other even more. Today we'll work on handling dementors, I know you got the basics during fourth year so this should be easy and then we can move on."

Remus raised his hand, refusing to meet James' and Sirius' gaze. "Benjy, what order will we do the others in?"

Benjy smiled at Remus. "I don't know yet, Remus, cut me a bit of slack. Why?"

Remus met his professors gaze and shrugged. It was hard to feign indifference but he was pretty sure he managed. "Just wondering."

Of maybe he didn't because the light went off in Benjy's eyes.

"I'll figure it out tonight and tell you on Wednesday."

Remus nodded. Benjy then went onto explain how to summon a Patronus.

Everyone got to work recalling happy memories and mastering the wand movement. Remus still wouldn't look at James and Sirius. Beings...differ from humans like us. I am alone and there isn't a straight way in hell that I am going to be able to conjure a patronus today.

Remus dared a look around the world. No one had gotten their Patronus' to be more than a beam of light. James had pushed his glasses off his face and had his eyes closed. Sirius twirled his wand between his fingers and looked at nothing particular. Lily sat on one of the desks, cracking her knuckles, wand behind her ear. Liam was watching Emmy, a smile on his face. Bernard was scowling, only a thin sliver coming from his wand tip.

Benjy came to stand next to him. They were close in height but Remus still had an inch or two on the older wizard and was broader."They say that knowing yourself is the first step to improvement. you want to master this class, you'll have to face your weaknesses. So no, you may not skip class in the weeks to come. That being said, I should have thought before I said what I said."

Remus nodded and even managed to smile in forgivness at Benjy's apology.

Benjy changed the topic. "Have you ever conjured a full patronus?"

Remus shook his head. "I guess I don't have all that many happy memories."

Benjy barked out such a loud laugh that the class stopped to look at him. "Remus Lupin, that is a lie."

Remus frowned slightly. Now everyone was watching the interchange. Benjy took him by the shoulders and with a light of mischief in his eyes spoke in a low voice so the others couldn't hear. "Think about your mates. That'll make it work."

Then in a louder voice Benjy stated. "Conjure a full patronus so these ninny's can see how it's done."

Remus swallowed and nodded. He closed his eyes and started to think. _James and Sirius asking him to join them on the train... Meeting Peter... Getting sorted into Gryffindor._ None of them felt strong enough. Then he thought of that moment in fifth year when they had met him, a stag, a dog and a rat at the shrieking shack. It was the only moment that he remembered from his time as a wolf. _The feeling had been the same as he felt as a human. Pack. Brothers. Belong. Home._

**_Expecto Patronum!_**

He swept his wand around and opened his eyes. A wolf leapt about the room and ran to James and Sirius before dissipating. A wolf. He would never be rid of it.

Benjy clapped him on the shoulder. "Excellent. Can any of you match Remus?"

...

James exchanged looks with Sirius. Curiosity ate at him. If Moony's was a wolf then maybe his was…

He locked onto the memory of Lily's lips on his. He thought of how she smelt like springtime and tasted like honey and lemon. Then he thought of her smile. He had not always had her lips to kiss or hands to hold. But he always had her smile.

And what a smile it was.

_**Expecto Patronum!**_

A great stag stepped out and then ran about the room. Yes, well, a stag was a good animal to be.

...

Sirius would not be out done. So he drew on a memory he would deny having if asked. The day he left his parents house for the final time. He told James he didn't really remember what happened. But he did. Orion had told him that at dinner that he was engaged to Laurel Flint. Sirius had stood up, told his father (somehow without swearing or yelling) that he was not going to marry anyone. Then he had left. He had arrived at the Potters and Theodore and Isabelle had not said a word. They had given him a room and clothes and life again.

He had no nightmares that night.

_**Expecto Patronum!**_

A dog ran about the room and jumped on the stag. Both of them dissipated. Sirius turned and grinned at Remus and James and then just grinned back.

...

Lily still sat on the desk. The boys conjured their animagus forms. She fiddled with her braid tip and re-tied each of her shoes, twice. Emmy conjured a rabbit. Liam conjured a lion. Everyone else just conjured beams of light. James and Sirius laughed as their patronus' chased each other. Remus watched but didn't do the spell again. _Happy thoughts are contagious._ That was what her mum always said. Her mum. Her mum handing her the first Hogwarts letter. Her mum smiling when McGonagall came for tea later that day. Her mum telling her just how proud of her they were. _"This doesn't make you any more special than anyone else. This just makes you more you. What more could we want?"_

_**Expecto Patronum!**_

A doe. Irony was a bitch. A doe that immediately went to go nuzzled James' stag and made Lily face flush the color of her hair.

...

Marlene squealed. "I knew I should have taken that class more seriously."

Sirius leaned in and threw an arm around her shoulder. "You should take everything with more of me."

Marlene shoved him off. The six of them stood in the empty classroom. It was a free period. Peter had already conjured his patronus. No one was surprised it was a rat.

"I wonder what mine will be!" Marlene giggled, twirling her wand like Sirius did. "Now shush while I think."

Her childhood had been happy. So had school until fourth year. There was little in life that didn't make her laugh but even less that made her happy. She knew the memory had to be strong.

"Are you going to die?" Lily had asked her, deadly serious.

"No, in this world you can live with cancer." Sirius had explained.

"In fact, it doesn't really mean much, just extra medication."

Then, they had skipped a day of classes to go see a Springsteen concert. She could hear the melody like a memory in her brain.

_**Expecto Patronum!**_

It was a penguin. Everyone laughed.

_February 23, 1979_

Saturday was the best day of the week. No class. They would all finish a good deal of their homework on Friday. They were seventh years and had a free day.

Lily Evans, Head Girl, sat on the floor in front of the fire at the Hogshead, writing poetry. James Potter, her boyfriend and fellow head, lay with his head in her lap and playing with her braid, her hair had grown to just past her shoulder. Sirius Black, James' best mate, sat on a couch playing wizard chess with Marlene McKinnon, Lily's best mate. Remus Lupin, Sirius' best mate, was kibitzing on Sirius' game and occasionally lighting poking Marlene in the side so she squealed with laughter. Peter was reading Lily's recently purchased volume of H. P. Lovecraft stories in a wingback armchair to the left of the group.

They drank tea with brandy. No one bothered them.

Then the fire went out.

And someone screamed.

* * *

**a/n **so what do you think is going to happen?

Reviews = love!


	7. Kings and Queens

Kings and Queens

_February 23, 1979_

But it wasn't a normal scream. It was a paralyzing, dark and eerie. The room grew cold. The darkness was cut by bolts of light.

"I told you my lord, they are always here."

James, trying to fight through the fog of pain that filled his mind and the confusion that his limbs would not respond, recognized Crouch's voice.

My lord as in the dark lord.

He started to stand when the fire when out. His eyes adjusted now to the moon lit room. It was clear out and although the moon was barely there it was enough for him to see just who was in the room with them.

He had never seen the Dark Lord nor had he seen Death Eaters in their hoods and masks. Frankly, from his frozen crouched position, they looked like the stuff of nightmares.

"Well, done." His voice was grating. James tried to see his face more fully. "Move them so I can see them."

He took a seat in the chair Peter had been in. A death eater approached each of them and with bolts of light and a few spoken words James found himself and his closest friends were unarmed, on their knees, with their hands on their heads, in front of Lord Voldemort.

The fire was re-started giving James enough light to finally asses the room. Two dementors stood behind the chair where the Dark Lord sat, observing them with seeming indifference. Maybe, at one time, he had looked normal but now Lord Voldemort didn't even look human. His hair was too neat and inky black. His eyes were like small black holes in his face, empty, endless pits. His skin was pale and lips thin. His nose dominated his features, grecian and almost too big for him. He wore expensive robes that billowed around him but didn't hide his height or breadth. He was impressive to say the least and more than a little intimidating.

Finally he spoke, a voice like oil mixing with water, warm as blood. "You are Theodore Potters son, are you not?"

James didn't know what to respond. He risked a sideways glance at Sirius and and Remus, both of whom kept their gaze trained on the Dark Lord.

The Death Eater behind James struck him. "Answer the question."

It was Crouch again, and from the tone of his voice he was definitely smirking. James brought his gaze back to Voldemort. Associating all this with the antipathy he felt for Crouch shook James from his awe. These were just humans. They put on their shoes and socks every morning just like he did. And the odds weren't overwhelming. And if Voldemort had wanted them dead they would be.

So he answered the question. "I am. And you are?"

Maybe it wasn't wise but it made his mates shake with laughter after a moment and that made James' confidence reach full bloom. Annoyance flitted across the Dark Lord's features.

"You know who I am boy. You best not forget it."

James just glared back and didn't respond.

Sirius did. "Now that you have your answer. Can we go?"

James glanced at his best mate. It was like when they knew they were going to get detention, fake it and you'll make it. They both turned to look at Remus. That was his cue. Remus seemed to be doing a perimeter check and hadn't heard what Sirius had said. The awkward silence brought his gaze back to the situation at hand. James shot Remus a look that meant it was his turn. Remus turned to look straight at the Dark Lord.

"May I ask what you want from us?"

Voldemort smiled, showing what seemed to be fifteen rows of bright white teeth. "Your loyalty of course."

They were all quiet. James fought between the urge to laugh and genuine shock. Lily moved, drawing attention. Up until then she had been still, almost too still and James had worried she'd gone into shock. He risked a glance to his left where she knelt. Her face was pale as a ghost but her eyes were bright as stars. When she spoke there was no hesitation, no quaver.

"No. We will not be your slaves."

Voldemort turned his crystal blue eyes turned onto her. James' stomach lurched with fear. This predator was looking at his Lily and sure she could probably beat him up but that didn't mean he like that she had drawn attention to herself. Voldemort spoke to her. James wanted to tackle him.

"You must be Lily Evans, yes, I have heard plenty about you. They call you the brightest witch of your age. Quite shocking all things considered. You are an anomaly considering you should be defective as a mudblood."

James felt the growl roll up and out of him. Voldemort turned back, perfectly manicured eyebrows raised, and looked down his nose at James. "Ah, you care for this creature do you Mr. Potter? Understandable, she is lovely."

Crouch snickered behind James. James kept his gaze on the Dark Lord and nodded slowly. Voldemort drew his wand and twirled it in his hand and turned back to Lily. "And do you care for him back, little mudblood? Say I do this? Would you reconsider your defiance? Crucio."  
He said it with such carelessness James didn't realize what was happening before the pain blossomed inside of him. He felt like he had been stabbed in the gut with a hot fire poker. It took all his might not to vomit the contents of his stomach across the floor. He dropped to all fours his body trying to shield itself from harm. His heard his yells mingle with Lily's. The pain ebbed and James tried to start breath again.

This time Lily's voice was choked with tears. "No, because if I have no guarantee that surrender will be any better."

James grinned at the floor inches from his nose. That was his Lily. He braced himself for the second wave of pain. It didn't come. Instead there was an explosion of bright blue light outside the Hogshead and several apparation pops. Sirius and Remus knocked out the legs of the Death Eaters behind them and dove for their wands. Marlene grabbed Lily and they each grabbed one of James arms to help him up. Peter threw them their wands. Smoke and light filled the room. James saw Lily take off after Voldemort who was out the back door leaving his minions to deal with the five order members who had shown up. He took off after them yelling her name.

"Lily, don't, let him go."

Once they were out in the street Voldemort stood facing them and called out. "Don't think this over." With that he apparated away, the lights in the street going with him.

James, still breathless from the pain and the running, pulled Lily to him. "you stupid girl. Why did you follow him."

Lily tried to pull away but James held her fast. "He hurt you."

"He would have killed you."

"No. He wants us alive."

James knew this was true. "Not if you try and kill him."

"James! Lily!" It was Remus' voice. He, Sirius, Marlene and Peter came running. McGonagall was just behind them.

James walked towards them his arm still around Lily's waist. "We're here."

McGonagall got the lights to turn back on. James stopped under one of the streetlights and allowed his mates to come to them.

"What happened?"

McGonagall, though frowning, looked happy to see them. "That would be my doing. I gave Miss McKinnon a device that would alert me if any of the unforgivable curses were used around her. I guess you were the hit." Here her face looked so much like his mothers whenever he got hurt that James wanted to cry. He just nodded instead. "Then we best get you to the castle and the care of Madame Pomfrey."

James just nodded. The after effects were hitting him and his vision was swimming. Lily was safe, he could allow himself to shut down. Luckily when he started to fall over, even though it made Lily shout, Sirius and Remus caught him. After that he didn't remember much.

_February 24, 1979_

First light from the huge hospital wing windows woke Lily the next morning. She brushed her messy hair away from her face and sat up to look over at James' bed. She had used the invisibility cloak to sneak back in after curfew and stayed there all night. He had been out of it since he'd collapsed in Hogsmeade. She couldn't tell is he was still out, just sleeping or faking sleep to see what she would do.

So she went to sit on the edge of his bed. "James?"

His eyelids fluttered and he began to sit up. "Lily?"

"How do you feel?"

He reached for his glasses from the side table and put them on. "Hungry."

Lily nodded and pulled her feet up from the cold stone floor. They just sat staring at each other. James took her hand and traced circles with his thumb on the back. She had not had nightmares last night but that was probably because she'd barely slept. She wouldn't be surprised if she started having them, dreams of hearing James howl in pain, watching him collapse, knowing what could save him and not being able to do it. She felt sick inside. She had done the right thing remaining firm in her defiance but it had it been the loving thing? Inside her felt hollow and yet filled with ugliness.

"What are you thinking?"

Lily took her eyes from their joined hands to meet his gaze. "I don't know."

"Well, I am thinking that you are the bravest woman I know. I don't deserve you."

Lily laughed lightly. "I let him...and I would have let him do it again…because it was 'right' and it was what the cause dictated."

"Like I said, you are brave."

Lily felt her tears spring up. Damn it, Evans, you are a crybaby. "You wouldn't have let him…" She still couldn't finish the sentence.

"Because I am selfish that way." James shifted so he could kiss her lips. Her tears started to fall, saltwater mixing with the taste of him.

"But, I could have lost you."

James seemed to snicker. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Lily laughed with him. She just wanted to stay like this, allow the ache in her stomach and heart to be eased by his love for her.

Madame Pomfrey came by a few moments later and after checking James let him go with the caveat that he rest all day. He said he would. Lily refused to let go of his hand as they made their way down to breakfast. No one knew what had happened and they were fine with that. Sirius and Malene were already there. Remus joined them a little while later and then Peter. They ate in silence, sipping tea and looking around the dining hall. Reality was shattered, they were at war.

_March 5, 1979_

Barty Crouch Jr. never returned to school. Sirius was fine with that. Seeing that wanker again might have ended badly. Grabbing his coat and dead set on blowing his free period he headed out to the lake to have a smoke. His head felt filled with too much information. He collapsed by the tree and stared out across the lake and stemmed the tide of thoughts. He focused solely on the action of raising his cigarette to his lips, sucking in the toxins and blowing out the smoke. He worked through one and then another before Moony joined him. Moony who didn't smoke but also didn't bugger about how it would kill you.

Even though March had barely begun but it felt like more like spring than just two weeks back. It had rained for several days straight, melting the snow and leaving the grounds muddy. The sky was now a clear winter blue without a cloud in sight.

"The ground is wet. It's seeping through my trousers and now my pants are soaked."

Moony grinned, not hiding the sarcasm. "Thanks for sharing."

They sat in silence then, Sirius still puffing out smoke and Moony looking up at the sky. Sirius glanced at Moony out of the corner of his eye.

"So when do we start worrying about him?"

Moony shrugged. "When he starts acting like you."

"Har-har, you should be a comedian Moony."

"Sirius, are you worried?"

He took a long drag of his cigarette and puffed out a set of small rings. "No. Yes."

"Have I ever told you that you're the most confusing bastard I know?"

Padfoot looked at Moony askew. "Unfortunately my parents are actually married."

Moony rolled his eyes. "I am not worried. Prongs can take care of himself."

Sirius lit a third cigarette. "Unlike us."

Moony just nodded and shifted positions to get his wand out. "Unlike us. How's MK holding up?"

Sirius looked rueful. "You'd know better than I would. How about Wormy?"

Moony began to practice hex hand motions and draw with blue light in the air in front of him. "He's scared shitless."

"Scared shitless? Typical."

"Don't be hard on him."

Sirius frowned slightly. "I'm not, am I?"

Moony just sat there quietly next to him, twirling his wand. "Hell if I know."

Sirius was bored by now and started the play with his wand like Moony, subconsciously trying to show his mate up until he saw them. A pair of fifth years sucking each others faces off, oblivious to anything but their own rose tinted lives and heading right for his tree (because in his mind with was his tree and no one else sat there ever even when he wasn't around). Sirius' brain kicked into high gear. He heard rather than saw the couple all but collapsed on the opposite side of the tree. He caught Moony's eye and the grin the broke across his face would later be described by Moony as 'nothing short of malicious glee'.

"Moony, I don't think I can hold this back anymore."

Moony's eyes narrowed with a well deserved wariness.

"You are right not to speak my friend, if you truly mean to remain just friends." Sirius wanted to kick Moony to get him to follow along. He heard the 'action' occurring on the other side of the tree slow. At least one of them was starting to listen.

"Padfoot, what are you on about?"

Sirius brought his attention back to Moony, who was looking at him very confused, and smirked. "About the unresolved tensions between us. Remus John Lupin, I am in love with you."

Moony's eyes went wide and Sirius almost couldn't hold back his laugh but he did. Then Remus' jaw locked in obvious anger. Sirius just raised an eyebrow. When he was bored, Sirius did stupid shit. Moony had to play along. That's how things worked. Sirius kicked his shin.

"But I thought…" Moony bit out before Sirius cut him off.

"I know...that I love Marlene but we're just friends, we've never even done anything together. I am sure you knew this but maybe you thought I pined for Prongs. But no, it's you Moony, only you."

Sirius knew the fifth years were listening intently and possibly could even see them. Moony was obviously fighting the urge to punch him when a light went off behind his eyes.

Moony reached out and cupped a hand around Sirius' face. "You have made me the happiest man in the world. I love you so intensely Padfoot that I have not known how to express it until now. Kiss me."

He started to lean in. Sirius a mix felt repulsion at the thought of kissing Moony's sometimes fuzzy mug, anger that he was being shown up and such an urge to laugh he knew he was turning red.

And still Moony leaned in, inching closer and closer.

Sirius wasn't a chicken so he placed a hand on Moony's knee and leaned in too. Slowly they both leaned in, eyes daring the other to back off, be chicken. Moony licked his lips. Sirius moved his hand from Moony's knee to where Moony's hand was gripping his neck.

Their progress was slow but steady until they were only a breath away from each other. Sirius couldn't imagine what he would do if they actually ended up touching lips. they would too if they kept going even for another second. But they had sold their sordid love affair enough that the couple bolted back for the school.

Moony leaned back then, eyebrow raised. "Really, Padfoot, really?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was bored. and you believed me for a whole second."

Moony didn't deny it. He just punched Sirius in the shoulder. They then proceeded to just sit there until the free period ended and they could head to the common room. Classes were over and they were due to meet Prongs and Wormy for prank planning. As they entered the common room Sirius collapsed next to Marlene. She had been sprawled over one of the couches and now she would have to adjust her sprawl on to him in order to be comfy. He hated when his mates showed him up. Moony said he was pouting. But then that blighter was an arse.

"So when were you planning on telling me?" Marlene, head now in his lap, looked at him over her ancient runes text.

"About?"

"About the fact that you're leaving me for Remus."

Sirius froze. He hadn't thought other people would find out. But then, it was kind of a big deal that he Sirius Black was going to start dating the Remus Lupin, who didn't date anyone.

"Um…"  
Marlene started to sit up. "Clement told me. I, of course, said it was total bullshit."

Sirius smirked. "That's my girl."

"I told him it was impossible."

"Good that, kill the bloody rumor."

Marlene was smirking and that should have made him wary. "I mean how could you leave me for Remus when I had already left you for him."

"You, duck, are brill...what the fuck?"

Marlene stood then and walked to Moony. He put an arm around her shoulder. Their faces practically matched with malicious glee. His mates were all total twats.

Moony was talking. "We didn't know the best time to tell you."

Then turning to each other, they nuzzled noses and kissed. Sirius was on his feet in an instant, grabbing Marlene by the arm he dragged her away from Moony. He stood between them, turning his glare from one to the other. "Like hell you are leaving me for that wanker. He can't kiss half as well as me."

Moony was red from laughter. "You wouldn't know, you didn't kiss me this afternoon."

Sirius, still holding Marlene by the arm, glared. "Har-har. I wouldn't kiss your ugly snout if someone paid me."

Marlene and Remus were laughing so hard that Sirius had to join in. The three of them collapsed on the couch and let the endorphins fill their heads and push away the stress of war.

"I don't think I'll be able to kiss you for three days." Sirius moaned once he could breathe again. "I have images of Moony and you kissing and Moony and I kissing blended in my brain."

"Ew!" Marlene and Remus replied in unison.

Marlene turned to look at Remus. "No offense but kissing you was as gross as kissing my brother like that."

Remus shrugged. "It was like kissing my ear."

"What are you three on about?" Wormtail came in, laden with books and quills and parchment.

Sirius sobered up seeing their rat faced friend. "Nothing, Wormy. Hey, how'd class with Sprout go?"

Wormy shrugged, dumping his stiff on a table nearby and collapsing in a chair. "I think I'm flunking. Again."

Moony and Marlene both looked concerned. Sirius couldn't imagine why. Peter Pettigrew was as dumb as dirt but he would never be held back, the Order couldn't afford it, he was an asset like no other. No one noticed him. He was the perfect spy. Moony and Padfoot spent too much time talking the poor bugger off a cliff. Sirius just kept his same attitude about the whole matter. He ignored Peter's whining.

"Aren't you going to encourage him?" Marlene was next to him again.

"No."

Marlene glared. "He's your mate."

"Exactly and the I don't think I would do anything but feed his fears."

Marlene just rolled her eyes and went back to her textbook. Sirius was still bored so he played with her hair. He loved her hair. It was blonde and fine and curled around his fingertips. Marlene hummed as he card her hair and that made Sirius grin. He was still bored but at least he could be useful.

"MK, do you want a backrub?"

Marlene glanced at him. "Will it remain a backrub?"

Sirius smirked. "We're in public."

Marlene shift so her chest was across his legs and she could lean on her elbows to read. "Like that would stop you."

Sirius began to rub gently circle up and down her spine. She was in muggle clothes like him. She weighed almost nothing and his legs held her weight without buckling or aching. She kept reading and humming. Moony and Wormy were going over the latter's homework. Prongs and his Flower were late but that was not surprising. They'd had double Potions before the end of the school day.

"What homework do you have?" Marlene interrupted his thoughts.

"Reading for DADA and that paper for Arithmancy."

Marlene shifted and grabbed her school bag. "Can I read you my paper?"

"Can I copy it?"

Marlene snorted and began to unroll the parchment. "Like you need to. Now listen quietly and don't stop the backrub."

Sirius adjusted himself so he was comfortable and listened to Marlene explain her views on the numbers 3 and 7 as lucky in opposition to 13. Everything felt ordinary. and he suddenly wasn't so bored anymore. Ordinary meant he should be wary. If patterns could be relied on like Sirius had come to believe then this was a calm before a storm. The longer things felt ordinary and he moved easily from boredom to non-boredom the bigger the storm would be.

Marlene reached around to stroke his thigh under her belly."You're tensing up."

"Read what you just wrote to me again."

"The whole thing?"

"No, just the last few lines."

Moony and Wormtail were watching him now too. Moony's brow was wrinkled. "What's happening?"

Sirius glanced from the space in the carpet he'd been staring at to his best mate. "I'm not sure, maybe a prediction."

Marlene sat up and re-read her last lines. "In ancient history 3 and 7 have always been perfect numbers. Perfection should be defined as completion as in opposition to incompletion. Taking an example from a different disciplines we can look at herbology and care of magical creatures. A fairy ring must be seven toadstools or mushrooms in order to complete the Midsummer rituals. An incomplete ring can be disastrous and the rituals would be considered imperfect."

Sirius frowned and let his thoughts drift. Midsummer rituals. Mushrooms. Seven. Ordinary. Boredom. Patterns.

"Duck, why did you define perfection like that?"

Marlene shrugged. "It was in the text on Midsummer rituals I was reading to support my theory."

Sirius nodded and began thinking aloud. "111 days, or 3 months and 19 days, or 15 weeks and 6 days. 15 weeks and 6 days. 111 divided by 7 equals...7 goes into 11...carry the...coming to 15.8...fifteen and four/fifths...shit this isn't working. Where the hell is a moon chart?"

Moony pulled out his moon chart and handed it to Sirius. Sirius took it, paper and quill and began to write frantically. Prongs came in with Lily but he ignored them. Ordinary. Boredom. Patterns. Midsummer. Seven or maybe three. seven plus three. three sevens. twenty one. twenty one. twenty one.

"Twenty one." Sirius finally spoke. "Break in done into increments of 21. So 111 divide by 21 is 5.28571429, and if I round up, 5.3. Ugh. It doesn't actually make any sense. Following the moons cycle. Midsummer and 5.3 and 15.8 equal 21.1. No moon on the 24th of June this year. Interesting. 21 days after that is July 15th or two days to half moon. That's not it. Fuck." Sirius met his friends gazes, angry that his inner sight was foggy. "What's a bloke got to do to get clarity?"

Marlene walked over to look at his scribbles. She rubbed his shoulder and picked up the different pages.

Prongs had arrrived while Sirius was thinking and looked worried. "What brought this on?"

Sirius groaned as he stretched his limbs and ran hands through his curls to release his tension. "Suddenly I wasn't bored."

Prongs swore and sat heavily next to him. Marlene was pouring over the notes. Wormy was gnawing at his fingernails. Moony was leaning against the table, arms crossed looking very concerned. Lily just set down her bag and came to stand in front on Sirius. With him sitting they were eye to eye.

"Tell me the phrase you see."

Sirius frowned. "I don't see phrases."

Lily smirked. "That's a lie. You have a gift of sight. You see phrases. Say it."

Sirius narrowed his gaze. He hadn't told anyone one of his predictions that clearly since he was a child and his mother had hit it out of him.

"Say what you want to say. Just let the words fall out. Your history of silence hasn't done anyone any good. Don't couch the words in numbers or stars, just tell us what you see. Come on, Sirius, be brave."

He sighed. He cracked his knuckles and drummed his fingers. Then he stilled and listened with his inner eye to the phrase in his head.

"The calm before the storm." Sirius whispered. Everyone looked at him.

Lily nodded. "Well then. The storm will hit at some point. Right now we prepare."

Lily sat at the table and pulled out her DADA book, Confronting the Faceless. "What were the pages Benjy told us to read?"

Sirius pushed his papers into a pile and let the numbers and dates fade from his brain to be picked at when he woke up with nightmares and couldn't get back to sleep. He pulled out his book and pushed it so Marlene could read along. "246 to 250."

Lily nodded. "Alright then, methods of resisting the Imperius curse. I'll read first."

Sirius listened and followed along as Lily and then Moony read their homework aloud. Marlene leaned against him and Prongs asked all the questions that Sirius thought worthwhile to ask. His brain kept wondering what 5 and 15 and 21 had to do with the coming storm and whether he'd be ready when the winds picked up and the lightning hit. He didn't resent Lily being a bully about sharing his phrase. She had looked at him like he was worth listening to and she hadn't tried to manipulate his words. She's taken them and he was sure she would mull them over. They would remain his words though, for better or worse, he was the won who predicted the storm. They finished their homework. And as they got up to walk to dinner Sirius took Lily under his arm.

"How did you know?"

Lily pulled her braid over her shoulder and smiled up at him. "I am sorry about that. I saw your notebook once in 3rd year when you dropped it coming out of Divination. Have you always written down your phrases?"

Sirius nodded. "Ever since my parents tried to alter my memory after I predicted some rather unsavory things about them. Since then I used other methods to validate what I see."

"Hence taking Advanced Astronomy and Arithmancy."

Sirius smirked. "And testing out of Divination."

Lily just rolled her eyes. "You're insufferable, Black."

"And you like me that way dear Flower. I make Prongs bearable by comparison."

Lily laughed and Sirius joined her. He felt then that boredom would not return for a good bit of time. It almost worried him.

Lily poked his side. "So you and Remus huh?"

Sirius growled. "How many people know about that?"

"Probably the whole school, you doofus."

Sirius moaned and allowed more of his weight to shift to Lily. "Well, he said he was leaving me for Marlene right after. I am heartbroken."

Lily shoved him off her. "You are crushing me you great lout. You'll get over it."

Sirius laughed. "I don't know. Maybe I'll end up trying to steal you from Prongs."

Lily swung a few punches at him. "You wouldn't dare. He'd destroy you."

Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets. "Besides I don't like redheads."

Lily laughed even more. They got to the dining hall and ate dinner in peace although Sirius was pretty sure there were a few whispers about how Marlene was sitting next to him and not Remus. He was glad he wouldn't be bored for a while, when he was bored he did stupid shit.

_March 17, 1979_

Evening was coming to a close and the first stars had started to come out. It had not been a Hogsmeade weekend but James had gotten permission from them to go to the Hogshead.

Lily pulled on her gloves as the six friends stepped out into the cool night air. "so what's the occasion?"

James' threw an arm around Lily and missed her cheek. "Moony's half birthday."

Remus just looked at James in confusion and shook his head.

James laughed and ran ahead a little. "Not really, I just felt we needed to get out of there."

Lily was smiling at him. James smiled back and whistled as he led the way through the darkened streets of Hogsmeade. Life should be great right? Sirius came to walk along side him and started singing the song James was whistling. James joined in. They sounded good but not as good as when all four of them sang so he and Sirius glared at Remus and Peter until they joined in.

And the auld triangle went jingle-jangle all along the backs of the royal banks…

Peter sang the second verse and James the third then they paused for Remus to sing the fourth. He only refused for a moment. They were just off the full moon so Remus was grumpy but the song had to be finished. So Remus sang, clear and tenor.

Up in the female prison, there are seventy-five women and 'tis among them I wish I did dwell.

The boys all laughed and sang the refrain one last time at the top of their lungs.

Then the auld triangle went jingle-jangle all along the backs of the royal banks.

They arrived at the Hogshead, shucked their layers and went in search of food.

Marlene collapsed on one of the sofas, butterbeer in hand. "Not that your singing wasn't entertaining but let's listen to some of Lily's vinyls."

Lily immediately got up to pull out her turntable and pawed through her music collection. "What are we in the mood for?"

Marlene got up too and began looking to. "Something we can dance to."

Lily pulled out one record and smiled. "Stevie Wonder?"

"Why do you like muggle music so much?" Peter asked.

Lily looked over her shoulder at him as she set the needle. Then she looked at James. He'd heard and seen the whole interchange from the table where he had been making sandwiches.

"Peter, it's just music."

Peter looked away from Lily to James. "Well, I guess but why do you and Marlene like it so much. I mean Lily grew up listening to this kind of stuff but not you too."

The room seemed to grow tense. Sirius and Remus came in from the kitchen.

Peter started to look nervous and turn pink. "Why are you all looking at me?"

Sirius started to talk but James cut him off. "We're trying to figure out what you are asking. Pete, it's just music. Why do you like the books you read?"

Peter shrugged. "There good."

James cleared his throat. "The music is good, so we listen to it."

Peter looked from him to everyone else in the room, shrugged and went back to his book. The opening chord of Superstition began. James loosened his grip on the knife he was using to cut the sandwiches, breathed in deeply through his nose and felt the room grow less tense. James looked up to see Marlene and Lily dancing around the room. Sirius cut in and swept Marlene around the room. Lily came to sit on the table and started eating one of sandwiches.

"Did you do your DADA homework?"

James scoffed. "No. I think it was a sick joke that Benjy assigned that reading this week but if I get called in I don't think I'll have a problem answering questions. What do you think Remus?"

Remus came over to lean against the table and grabbed one of the sandwiches. "I'm with James. This feels like a sick joke."

Lily started to pour drinks. "How are you going to handle tomorrow?"

James and Remus shrugged simultaneously.  
"I prefer to live one day at a time." James held out his hand as Marlene switched out Stevie Wonder for Billy Joel. "Care to dance? I like this song."

Lily smiled when she took his hand. "It's a very muggle choice."

James shrugged. "Come on Virginia…"

Lily frowned. "But I am nothing like…"

James shushed her with his hand and winked. "That's what they want you to think."

* * *

A/N I haven't posted in forever b/c I felt this should be longer. Well, I refuse to make this chapter longer. Now I can move forward. Review please!


End file.
